419er sells herself into sexual slavery
Help me, get paid - and laid
The 419ers have been a bit quiet recently on the innovative marketing front. In fact, every advance fee fraud email that has popped into the Vulture Central mailbox in the last month has been a tired reworking of one or other of the classic themes - deposed dictator, blah, Democratic Republic of Congo, blah blah, distraught widow bearing cash, blah blah blah.
We are, however, obliged this morning to Craig Eldershaw for forwarding this rather delicious proposition from one Bless Kiffa. The poor girl's got herself into a bit of a pickle and is looking for the customary foreign partner to liberate almost £16m from Africa.
Naturally, said partner receives a negotiable cut of the action - plus a little bit more. Indeed, Bless is an orphaned lass who's literally prepared to bend over backwards to get out of the Ivory Coast:
From Miss Bless KIFFA
Abidjan Cote D'Ivoire
Hi Lover, please reply to (email@example.com ) for security reason.
I am the only Daughter of my late parents Mr.and Mrs.BLESSING KIFFA My father was a highly reputable busnness magnet who operated in the capital of Ivory coast during his days.I'm a deaf girl.
It is sad to say that he passed away mysteriously in France during one of his business trips abroad year 12th.Febuary 2000.Though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected to have been masterminded by an uncle of his who travelled with him at that time. But God knows the truth! My mother died when I was just 6 years old,and since then my father took me so special.
Before his death on Febuary 12 2000 he called the secretary who accompanied him to the hospital and told him that he has the sum of fifteen million,seven hundred thousand United State Dollars.(USD$15.700,000) left in fixed deposit account in one of the leading banks in Africa.He further told him that he deposited the money in my name,and finally issued a written instruction to his lawyer whom he said is in possession of all the necessary but legal documents to this fund and the bank.
I am just 21 years old and a university undergraduate and really don't know what to do.Now I want an account overseas where I can transfer this funds and after the transaction i will come and live with you as a lover and i'm ready to do anything of your choice. This is because I have suffered a lot of set backs as a result of incessant political crisis here in Ivory coast.The death of my father actually brought sorrow to my life and i wished to invested under your care please.
I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards.Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded.Now permit me to ask these few questions:- 1. Can you honestly help me as your lover or future wife,that is what i want from you. 2. Can I completely trust you as a lover? . What percentage of the total amount in question will be good for you after the money is in your account while i finalers my education?
Please,Consider this and get back to me as soon as possible at (firstname.lastname@example.org ) Immedaitely i confirmed you willingness then i will send to you my Picture .
your sincere regards,
It's clear that young Bless it as much of a business magnet as her old man, since we have no doubt that she will be inundated with offers of immediate assistance from cash-strapped and sex-starved western gentlemen. A word of advice to would-be suitors, though: a basic grasp of sign language is probably essential here. After all, you'd be well advised to hammer out a prenup face-to-face before waltzing up the aisle and proceeding thereafter to the marital bed chamber. ®
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