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Introducing the Kalashnikov MP3 player

An absolute must-have for street-hip insurgents

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Lock and load: the AK MP3We're obliged to reader Dennis Price for alerting us to an absolute must-have for any fashion-conscious and street-hip insurgent - the Kalashnikov MP3 player. Yes indeed, the streets of Najaf will never be the same again once the followers of radical Shi'ite cleric Moqtada Sadr get their hands on this little beauty - aptly named the AK-MP3. Actually, it's just a replica AK-47 magazine, but slap it in your semi-automatic rifle and you're ready to shock and awe the US military with the sheer firepower of your playlist.

Mind you, we don't think that Sadr would approve of the advertising snaps for this device, featuring as they do a young lady clad only in camouflage bikini with her hands firmly grasping an enormous weapon. Presumably her throes of ecstasy have been provoked by reading one of the audio books which come preloaded on the AK-MP3 when you pay the full whack of $600. Alternatively, you can have the thing without the books for $350, for which you get:

  • 20GB storage
  • Re-programmable firmware supports MP3, WMA plus additional future audio formats and software extensions
  • Anti-shock protection up to 8 minutes for smooth listening
  • USB2 interface offers fast digital transfer
  • Up to 10 hours continuous playback with built-in rechargeable Lithium Ion battery, up to 18 hours with external battery box

The AK-MP3 is apparently the brainchild of Andrey Koltakov, who says: "Hopefully, from now on many Militants and Terrorists will use their AK47s to listen to music and audio books. They need to chill out and take it easy."

Right on, brother. While we doubt that the AK-MP3 will do much to promote world peace, love and understanding, we can think of a very practical use for it - to deter would-be muggers who have been targetting iPods. The idea of popping a cap in some ne'er-do-well's ass while rocking out to the Clash's Tommy Gun is an appealing one. ®

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