Goth sysadmins rage against Reg music machine

Cradle of Filth

Letters We're not yet sure whether or not our Mother of all Music Polls will confirm that developers prefer Megadeth to Mozart, but we have already been able to draw some interesting conclusions from the exercise.

The most striking is that a taste for certain musical genres will erode the faculties which allow the average person to understand basic English. This email from Cory - received within 10 minutes of the poll kicking off - illustrates this lamentable process perfectly:

"So, what we don't want to see are whining emails containing lines such as "I can't BELIEVE that you left out Romanian gypsy ballads" or "since you call Britney Spears a pop artist it's clear that you know nothing about music, you jackass"."

Right then. No whining here. Just yelling. A lot of it:

DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH PUTTING A *survey* (LOWER CASE BECAUSE THAT'S HOW MUCH IT SUCKED) WIHTOUTH SO MUCH AS A MENTION OF THE CURE?

oH Sure, you put the Smith's you say. And who can forget the X-RAY SPECS with their amazing balld OH BONDAGE UP YOURS! Maybe that's what you can tell the other numwits who mad ethe survey up - BONDAGE UP! Um, I mean WHER IS THE CURE?!

I know who you Europeans think. I;ve rented the OFfice, your just a bunk of drunkards who can't get anything right. Not even a abnd that should be donw on your knees thanking for ALL THAT IS HOLY for bringing good music to the world. And yes, by world I mean the US since that's where 80-% of the INTERnet is anyway

For the record, we wrote, in addition to the above quote re: Romanian Britneys:

But before you rush excitedly to the poll, let's get a few things straight. Certain genres and many artists are not represented in our poll. This is due entirely to our personal prejudice/ignorance/indifference. For example, we can't be bothered with 1940s swing bands and what we know about Mongolian throat singing can be written on the back of a very small yak.

Clear enough? Apparently not. Take it away, Simon Day:

Ok - I know you said not to email you if you missed off a particular artist - fine.

However you missed of an entire genre (complete with its own sub genres)

That of Goth music (and given about half of male goths and a good portion of female goths are more than computer savvy if not all out geeks then you could well be skewing your poll, oh and I really dont want to get into the arguement of what is or is not a goth so for generosities sake lets just include the insta goths, teeny goths and those that just think they are a goth because they like to wear black and go way OTT on white face and black eye liner)

As for the sub genres you have old school, electro, darkwave, industrial to name but a few.

For a few sample artists try:

Sisuters of mercy Bahaus Cradel of Filth Front 242 Wumpscut Theatre of tragedy Switch blade symphony Christian Death Fields of the nephilim

We're not sure whether the outrageous omission of Goth was due to prejudice, ignorance or indifference. Maybe it was all three? Steve Goucher has spotted another gaping hole in the poll:

Now I *know* you said not to, but if I paid any attention to what people asked for, what kind of software developer would I be ? (see http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/07/22/bcs_new_members/).

So, "lovely", I thought on reading your follow up poll on the music choice of the worlds' IT professionals. Ok, just one. Cool. Find another if first choice not available. Ok, ok.

Category: Electronic/Experimental.

First choice ? Damn. No 'Banco de Gaia' available. Second choice? Damn, no 'Orb' available. Third choice ? Orbital ? Ah.

Ok, getting desperate now... what choices are there....

...oh, never heard any of them.

So, no recent 'electronic' music, no dance, no ambience, no techno, nothing but decades old stuff that I've mostly never heard of, let alone heard.

Honestly, people could've thought that the synthesizer ceased to exist somewhere in the late 80s.

So, I'd *like* (very much) to add my (underrepresented) music choice to your poll, but, suprise, I find it is underrepresented.

Did you ever hear that they have a dance tent at Glastonbury ?

All this aside, here's the bit where I add the standard "well done all" to you guys at the Reg. You make it worth coming into work.

I have to bring my own music though.

Well, no-one likes to throw a few shapes more than the assembled hacks of El Reg, but there's no way you'll catch us wallowing in mud in some "Pop" festival surrounded by tree-huggers and their dogs on string high on "pot" and raving to "electro". No Siree.

Mind you, if you young whippersnappers think that it's just the most contemporary of musical artists who do not merit a mention on our ground-breaking survey, think again. Reuben Thomas explains:

Oh dear. Inadequacy all round. First, mine. My job: I'm a freelance computer consultant, but that sounds rubbish. In practice I do a bit of sysadminning, programming, and I'm currently translating a computer science textbook from English to French. I also sing professionally. Even leaving out the singing, I can't find a decent title for this other than "computer consultant", which sounds naff.

Next, yours. Being a singer trained in the Anglican choral tradition, my tastes are what most people, inexplicably, call "classical". I thought classical was a period in the 18th-19th century, but there we go. Now, I look at the rather short list of composers. Composers! But hang on, there's one performer, Kiri Te Kanawa. Huh? I scroll down the endless pages of bands many of whose genres I've never even heard of, let alone their titles, and wonder what I'm supposed to do. It seems that whether I'm a fan of the Monteverdi Choir or the Maggini Quartet, I can only vote for, I dunno, Bach or Beethoven or Mozart. What if I love Pavarotti but hate Carreras? Or am a big fan of Mozart's operas, but think his chamber music is fluff? Not to mention that there don't seem to be many living composers in your list. I'm a big fan of James Macmillan, for example, and where's Thomas Adès? Or Jean-Michel Jarre? Or Vangelis? Sigh...

Vangelis? You must be joking. Now, there is also the small matter of placing artists in the wrong category. Robert Lindsay has got himself in a right old tizz:

I, like umteen million other will now humbly bitch at your for excluding some favorite band. My missing in action list include X & Black Flag & Fugazi category.

AND the crime of Gary Numan in the 'experimental?' I don't THINK SO.

Surely that last bit should read: "AND the crime of Gary Numan? I don't THINK SO."

So, what about Heart, eh? Unpleasant Canadian pomp rock, or have we got our wires crossed?:

Why do so many people in the UK think that Heart is a Canadian group? They are from Bellevue in Washington, just south of Redmond, and east of Seattle, a part of the great Pacific North West. They did some early work a few miles north of there in Vancouver at the start of their career, but they have always been American. http://pnwbands.com/heart.html

Peter Strong


Hey -- I hate Canuck pomp rock as much as the next guy -- that's what happens when you grow up in rural Canada -- but how could you only include 2 bands in your Canadian pomp rock category -- and one of them isn't even Canadian? My suggestion: Nickleback. Worst. Band. Ever.

M-J Milloy


I can't BELIEVE that you left out "April Wine" and "Bryan Adams" under "Unpleasant Canadian Pomp Rock" - Not that I would have voted for them anyway.

Bart

For the record, we decided to place Heart in with Rush because we thought it the only fitting punishment for their crimes against good taste. The point about Bryan Adams is well taken, though.

Let's conclude this light-hearted trawl through the unsolicited and actively discouraged by allowing Graham to let off a bit of steam. You guessed it, we left off Graham's preferred genre. Prejudice, ignorance or indifference? You decide:

No psychedelic rock bands????

Why, you pustulent bags of cacophanous putrescence! Your musical turpitude resounds in the sour-beered music halls of infamy! Fie on your monotonic symphonies of incompetence!!!!!!!!!!

(EXCUSE me --- that's Monotonic SYMFONEES of ***InKOMpetance*** !!!!!!)

luv, Graham.

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