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Introducing the iPod London toilet guide

Taking the p***?

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

London-based iPod users, sensitive souls that they are, can now avoid the horror of unkempt public toilets, thanks to pPod (yes, pPod), a directory of reviewed public conveniences designed especially for the trendy music player.

Developed by digital media firm Nykris for reasons probably best known to themselves, pPod is a multimedia toilet guide that combines written reviews and hilariously appropriate sound tracks (Handel's Water Music, for instance) to help people find the "loveliest" facility in their vicinity.

Just what the world was waiting for.

The company sent its fearless staff to 114 central London toilets to collect their data. You will be delighted to know that the nicest loo in central London is in Hyde Park. At the other end of the loveliness spectrum were the bogs in Piccadilly Circus tube station which, when the reviewer visited, were not even open. (That bad, eh? - Ed)

Philip Read, Nykris' MD, told The BBC that the pPod was designed to make use of underexploited features of the iPod, such as text. And pPod is just a start. Read went on to say that other applications are in the pipeline:

"We're currently exploring other iPod-based services that could be developed, including an interactive audio guide to gigs and clubs - something that we think could be particularly attractive to iPod fans," he told the Beeb.

We humbly suggest that before he begins work on any other projects, he should with all haste, create a blacklist of killer cyberloos. The world will be a safer place.

If you have a pPod shaped hole in your life, and a third generation or higher iPod, point your browser here and get downloading. Once it is on your PC or Mac, bung it on your iPod and start looking through the listings.

Let us know how you get on. ®

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