God violates Intel trademark

Jesus inside

By Lester Haines • Get more from this author

Posted in Bootnotes, 21st July 2004 11:10 GMT

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Upgrade to a higher power Those readers who already have the fastest, leanest, boy-racer chip in their PC but still feel the need to "upgrade to the highest power" might consider looking beyond the purely physical.

One UK church has rather cheekily swiped Intel's ubiquitous "intel inside" concept and turned it to the service of the Lord, as its poster campaign proves. Worshippers are invited to "upgrade this Sunday" at this Northern place of worship and experience for themselves what one Reg wag called "the new miracle processor".

Nicely done. Naturally, we are not going to name the church in question for fear that teams of writ-bearing lawyers descend on the hapless Children of God like a plague of locusts. That said, the prospect of a litigious Clash of Titans between the worlds spiritual and corporeal is a delicious one:

Plaintiff: Intel Corporation
Domicile: Santa Clara, California

Defendant: God
Domicile: Omnipresent

Claim: That said divine being did violate the trademark of the INTEL CORPORATION (hereafter referred to as the "plaintiff") in the promotion of an earthy place of worship in the name of his co-defendant JESUS CHRIST (hereafter referred to as the "Son of God") and did thereby undermine said trademark and its association with the promotion of high-quality silicon chips.

The plaintiff requests that the defendant cease and desist immediately and does - by way of compensation - smite with terrible vengeance the AMD CORPORATION, of Sunnyvale, California. ®

Bootnote

Top marks to El Reg supremo Linus "Fish Fingers" Birtles for spotting this upgrade opportunity and obtaining the necessary photographic evidence. We'll make a hack of him yet.

A heads-up too for all those readers who pointed us in the direction of t-shirt variations on this theme - including the snappy "satan inside" black number. It's clear we haven't spent much time recently window-shopping at Christian - or Satanist - e-commerce outlets.