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Daleks invade New York

EX-TOI-MIN-ATE!

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

New York residents are today contemplating how close they came to "extoimination" after the Sun draped a Dalek in the flag of St George and let it loose in Times Square.

The UK tabloid has launched a laudable campaign to demand that the Daleks be allowed to participate in the forthcoming relaunch of Dr Who. Negotiations between the BBC and the estate of the late Terry Nation regarding editorial control last week broke down, resulting in the stairphobic salt-cellars stropping off back to their home planet.

The New York invasion came hot on the heels of an earlier protest in Southampton.

One outraged Big Apple local is quoted as saying: "How can deez guys at da BBC dump da Daleks? Dat’s ridiculous. Dey need extoiminating." Another chipped in: "I grew up watching the Daleks. It’s hard to believe a race hellbent on galactic domination will let a few suits at a TV company stop them."

Quite so. It appears that the BBC now faces a powerful alliance of malevolent machine and tabloid muscle, although rumours that the Sun will feature a week of topless Daleks on Page 3 (Davros, 21, from Skaro), remain unconfirmed. ®

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