Feeds

Last call for spam poetry

Gigacycle huckleberry whoop contour

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Build a business case: developing custom apps

So popular has our appeal for spam poetry proved, that we are setting a cut-off date for submissions to end the madness before someone gets hurt.

To recap, we're on the lookout for firewall-dodging compositions which, as we put it, transcend the junk mail paradigm. Here are a few examples from the bulging postbag:

Any bluish slopy carpet smiles at the place that our beautiful glasses stares. (Chris Allen)

steam engine behind girl scout recognize squid over cup, or toward anomaly can be kind to judge over salad dressing. When you see grain of sand beyond pork chop, it means that cowboy defined by returns home. (Tom King)

mutiny pugmccullough denouement peppermintequinox pixel struckscarce
demon upriverafghan chat graybeardshameful columbine disgruntletenuous
analgesic dittysarcoma syrupy crotchetybegging dribble expireresurrect
garage boltonorphanage rancho floodgatedownslope catlike (Ann Barcomb)

And that's just the quickest dip into the linguistic black lagoon from which the spam creature crawled forth by night.

So, tomorrow (Friday 2 July) at 5pm UK time is the absolute final deadline for readers to send over their own particular favourites. After that, we'll collate the best for publication next week. Email your stuff directly to me. There will be prizes of some description for the outstanding stuff, as is the local custom.

To inspire those of you who normally bin spam without ceremony, here is one just in. God alone knows what it's all about, but it appears that al-Qaeda has run a press release through a James Joyce emulator. The last line is a beauty. Enjoy:

From: "Webmaster@Marmy.mil" <Webmaster@Marmy.mil>
To: lester.haines@therockalltimes.co.uk
Reply-to: Webmaster@Marmy.mil
Subject: It is deserter that American marines official calls by U.S. army hostage who kidnaps

It is deserter that American marines official calls by U.S. army hostage who kidnaps On June 30 electricity American marines official's teachings of 29 days in Xinhua net Washington , the marines privates tile by kidnaps of Iraq being living squeezes in the Ali breathes out that the pine is living to be kidnapped preceding that the resolution is escape away the barracks because the essence accepts the irritate , returns Lebanon old home

The U.S. << bulletion when New York >> Web Site invocation of 30 days this official who is not ready to the ovet surname and personal name it is told that , " to breathe out the pine is the Iraqi that he looked upon to girl friend by some is foold , the result drops in kidnapper's hand " This official says , breathes out the pine current year 24 years , is born from Lebanon . He seeed with one's own eyes a battle companion and was forced to heat that the frightful occasion queen that the shell bursts the smashedly essence is subjected to the very great irritate.

What more can we add than: "We got the inside story from the controlled environment. What came next? Flamethrowers, of course". Exactly. ®

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS
Threaderick the Great! And YES, we asked the Arapaho
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Indian techies-in-training face down MAN-EATING LEOPARD - and WIN
Big cat causes big trouble at Mumbai college
Too rich for an iPhone 6? How about a gold-plated Brikk?
Not lobbed at your head, silly – a bling phone
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
The Essential Guide to IT Transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIO's automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise.
Maximize storage efficiency across the enterprise
The HP StoreOnce backup solution offers highly flexible, centrally managed, and highly efficient data protection for any enterprise.