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Talking toilets - whatever next?

1 July 1999

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

It was five years ago today... It's amazing to think that long before electronically-enhanced toilets turned on their human masters and began their inexorable rise to total domination of the planet, such gadgets were seen as a force for good. Well, sort of:

Talking toilets - whatever next?

By Tim Richardson at Tomorrow's World Live, London
Published Thursday 1st July 1999 16:09 GMT

Here's an interesting device that caught the Vulture's eye while walking around Earl's Court trying to avoid being beaten up by groups of school kids today. "The Talking Potty - the potty that praises the botty" (patent number 9814371.2) was invented by a lovely woman to applaud the doings of her grandchildren.

When they pee in their potty, the water completes a circuit and a little digital voice box kicks in. You can record anything you like, such as "What a good girl" or "Who's a clever boy then." (You can almost hear psychiatrists rubbing their hands together at the prospect of all that future counselling - Ed.) If you're into soccer, you could even scream "Goooooaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllll - ah" every time your nipper gets a shot on target. Or maybe not.

Grandmum Iris White has also developed a device for older children that reminds them to wash their hands after going to the loo - or whatever it is they're supposed to do. She also said that women who share their loos with the opposite sex could set it to remind men not to splash everywhere and to put the seat down when they’ve finished. Lindy Lu - there's one in the post for you at The Register.


When they eventually make the inevitable Terminator-style movie of the Rise of the Cyberloo, the Talking Potty will be remembered as the inspiration which eventually led the Cyberdyne Systems Corporation to develop an international network of intelligent digidunnies. You know the rest... ®

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