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Revenge of the Zombie Bloodsucker PCs

2 June 1999

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Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

It was five years ago today... We at El Reg like to flatter ourselves that we are at the cutting edge of linguitic development. Long before the term "zombie PC" emerged blinking into the lexicographical light - at least in the sense of "slave drone to dark virus master's evil will" - we were already deploying the phrase to full effect:

Revenge of the Zombie Bloodsucker PCs

By Pete Sherriff
Published Wednesday 2nd June 1999 13:55 GMT

Researchers in the US have turned to blood letting in bid to build a smarter computer. While leeches are not renowned for their intellectual prowess and are believed never to have written a single line of Linux code, by simply poking them full of tiny electrodes, they can now do simple sums, says Professor Bill Ditto of the Georgia Institute of Technology (GIT).

The Prof says handwriting recognition would be an ideal application for the Leechulator and is now on the lookout for a leech with a reading age of ten in order to put his theory to the test. Non-squeamish UK readers will be able to check out the Leechulator on the BBC's Tomorrow’s World programme later today.


Yup, another great step forward for humanity. Since Vulture Central has not yet seen a leech reading a copy of the Financial Times, we can only assume that Professor Ditto of GIT never did complete his ground-breaking research. Shame. ®

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