Feeds

Revenge of the Zombie Bloodsucker PCs

2 June 1999

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

It was five years ago today... We at El Reg like to flatter ourselves that we are at the cutting edge of linguitic development. Long before the term "zombie PC" emerged blinking into the lexicographical light - at least in the sense of "slave drone to dark virus master's evil will" - we were already deploying the phrase to full effect:

Revenge of the Zombie Bloodsucker PCs

By Pete Sherriff
Published Wednesday 2nd June 1999 13:55 GMT

Researchers in the US have turned to blood letting in bid to build a smarter computer. While leeches are not renowned for their intellectual prowess and are believed never to have written a single line of Linux code, by simply poking them full of tiny electrodes, they can now do simple sums, says Professor Bill Ditto of the Georgia Institute of Technology (GIT).

The Prof says handwriting recognition would be an ideal application for the Leechulator and is now on the lookout for a leech with a reading age of ten in order to put his theory to the test. Non-squeamish UK readers will be able to check out the Leechulator on the BBC's Tomorrow’s World programme later today.


Yup, another great step forward for humanity. Since Vulture Central has not yet seen a leech reading a copy of the Financial Times, we can only assume that Professor Ditto of GIT never did complete his ground-breaking research. Shame. ®

3 Big data security analytics techniques

More from The Register

next story
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a defence for mobile apps
In this whitepaper learn the various considerations for defending mobile applications; from the mobile application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies needed to properly assess mobile applications risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.