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Introducing 'Watching Paint Dry'

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Those UK television viewers who are already considering leaving the country for the duration of Channel 4's fifth outing of human zoo extravaganza Big Brother may not have to jump on a plane after all.

Mercifully, there is an alternative to the mud hut in Sudan for those who wish to avoid the daily work ritual of "Hey, did you see Big Brother last night? I reckon [insert name of talentless neurotic wannabe celebrity] will win it, don't you think?". Yes, we can thank UKTV Style's excellent Watching Paint Dry initiative for offering an intellectually-challenging alternative to 24/7 televisual lobotomy.

The idea is brilliantly simple:

As the country groans at the return of Big Brother, UKTV Style introduces a new take on the reality show genre. We’ve all seen the shows involving celebrities in the jungle, husbands swapping their wives, rugby players being transformed into drag artists and now it’s time for something new. It's time for Watching Paint Dry.

One wall. Some paint. You decide.

Unlike all other reality shows, Watching Paint Dry will not be based on a ‘will they, won’t they’ situation or luring you in with the promise of potential scandal. It's the first reality show to do exactly what it says on the tin.

Every day a different kind of paint will be put on to a wall and you get the chance to vote for your favourite. Confirmed contestants include; matt, silk, gloss, satin, vinyl, eggshell textured and smooth masonry - all of whom are eagerly looking forward to their first brush with fame.

Superb. The first finish will be available for public scrutiny around midday today, UK time. We reckon satin will win it, don't you think? ®

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