Feeds

Killer cyberloo kidnaps kiddie

Plymouth lad shaken by terror ordeal

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Top three mobile application threats

Agent of the lizard people and manufacturer by appointment to the robotic uprising JC DeCaux says it has no idea why one of its public "superloos" decided to kidnap a ten-year-old boy in Plymouth's Central Park on Saturday.

The shaken lad had to be freed by the fire brigade after a passer by heard his desperate cries for help from inside the malevolent cyberconvenience.

Details are sketchy, but it appears that the door "failed to operate", as JC DeCaux nicely put it. The firm warned: "Children aged 10 or under should not use the kiosks unaccompanied as they are weight sensitive."

Exactly. As soon as the devilish digidunny detects a body under 50kg, it knows it has attracted easy prey. Readers are invited to immediately run into the streets with flaming torches and pitchforks and storm the nearest shifty-looking public convenience with cries of "Kill the monster!" ®

The Rise of the Machines

A robot in every home by 2010
Fire-breathing buses threaten London
Cyberappliances attack Italian village
Spanish cyberkiosks claim second victim
Cyberkiosk assaults Spanish teenager
Cyberloo blast rocks Stoke-on-Trent
Hi-tech toilet swallows woman

Bootnote

Thanks to the vigilant Nick J for alerting us to this new threat

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
KILLER SPONGES menacing California coastline
Surfers are safe, crustaceans less so
LOHAN and the amazing technicolor spaceplane
Our Vulture 2 livery is wrapped, and it's les noix du mutt
Liftoff! SpaceX Falcon 9 lifts Dragon on third resupply mission to ISS
SpaceX snaps smartly into one-second launch window
KILLER ROBOTS, DNA TAMPERING and PEEPING CYBORGS: the future looks bright!
Americans optimistic about technology despite being afraid of EVERYTHING
R.I.P. LADEE: Probe smashes into lunar surface at 3,600mph
Swan dive signs off successful science mission
Discovery time for 200m WONDER MATERIALS shaved from 4 MILLENNIA... to 4 years
Alloy, Alloy: Boffins in speed-classification breakthrough
Elon Musk's LEAKY THRUSTER gas stalls Space Station supply run
Helium seeps from Falcon 9 first stage, delays new legs for NASA robonaut
prev story

Whitepapers

SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.