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Killer cyberloo kidnaps kiddie

Plymouth lad shaken by terror ordeal

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Agent of the lizard people and manufacturer by appointment to the robotic uprising JC DeCaux says it has no idea why one of its public "superloos" decided to kidnap a ten-year-old boy in Plymouth's Central Park on Saturday.

The shaken lad had to be freed by the fire brigade after a passer by heard his desperate cries for help from inside the malevolent cyberconvenience.

Details are sketchy, but it appears that the door "failed to operate", as JC DeCaux nicely put it. The firm warned: "Children aged 10 or under should not use the kiosks unaccompanied as they are weight sensitive."

Exactly. As soon as the devilish digidunny detects a body under 50kg, it knows it has attracted easy prey. Readers are invited to immediately run into the streets with flaming torches and pitchforks and storm the nearest shifty-looking public convenience with cries of "Kill the monster!" ®

The Rise of the Machines

A robot in every home by 2010
Fire-breathing buses threaten London
Cyberappliances attack Italian village
Spanish cyberkiosks claim second victim
Cyberkiosk assaults Spanish teenager
Cyberloo blast rocks Stoke-on-Trent
Hi-tech toilet swallows woman

Bootnote

Thanks to the vigilant Nick J for alerting us to this new threat

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