Feeds

Boffins seek human chimps

Learn to communicate, simian-style

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

Apparently it's not enough that we humans got up on two legs, walked out of the Rift Valley, developed the ability to speak, went on to put our thoughts down in writing and ultimately invented email.

Nope. According to scientists at the Zoological Society of London, if we want to improve our communications skills, we'd do well to look at the way chimps interact.

For example, if you're having a particularly hard time with a work colleague, perhaps grooming them would diffuse the situation.

On the other hand, if you're the office whipping boy, then why not flap your arms about, wave objects in the air and puff yourself up in an intimidatory show of force?

Better still, give your boss a piece of your mind by baring your teeth at him.

Marvellous. Speaking to BBCi, Organisational psychologist Professor Cary Cooper enthused: "What I love about this as a concept is that people don't communicate enough to one another. What they communicate is words, not feelings, so this kind of thing would give them access to their emotions... A hierarchy similar to the animal kingdom already exists in the workplace, even though it is not always acknowledged."

Really? Anyone who has sat through an El Reg Strategy Boutique flip-chart brainstorm would claim that the corporate food chain is well established, and acknowledged. It's a dog-eat-dog world in IT news, make no mistake.

Should, however, this very silly idea appeal, then you can be one of 100+ volunteers the RZL wants to take part in its "chimp chatter" experiment. Details are available here.

As for us, we don't think there's much Vulture Central could learn from chimps. Our advice to those who need to address the animal within is this: if you're having a hard time with a work colleague, punch him; if you're being bullied at work, punch someone; and if your boss is giving you grief, bare your buttocks in a display of submission. It works every time. ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.
New hybrid storage solutions
Tackling data challenges through emerging hybrid storage solutions that enable optimum database performance whilst managing costs and increasingly large data stores.