Feeds

Boffins seek human chimps

Learn to communicate, simian-style

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

Apparently it's not enough that we humans got up on two legs, walked out of the Rift Valley, developed the ability to speak, went on to put our thoughts down in writing and ultimately invented email.

Nope. According to scientists at the Zoological Society of London, if we want to improve our communications skills, we'd do well to look at the way chimps interact.

For example, if you're having a particularly hard time with a work colleague, perhaps grooming them would diffuse the situation.

On the other hand, if you're the office whipping boy, then why not flap your arms about, wave objects in the air and puff yourself up in an intimidatory show of force?

Better still, give your boss a piece of your mind by baring your teeth at him.

Marvellous. Speaking to BBCi, Organisational psychologist Professor Cary Cooper enthused: "What I love about this as a concept is that people don't communicate enough to one another. What they communicate is words, not feelings, so this kind of thing would give them access to their emotions... A hierarchy similar to the animal kingdom already exists in the workplace, even though it is not always acknowledged."

Really? Anyone who has sat through an El Reg Strategy Boutique flip-chart brainstorm would claim that the corporate food chain is well established, and acknowledged. It's a dog-eat-dog world in IT news, make no mistake.

Should, however, this very silly idea appeal, then you can be one of 100+ volunteers the RZL wants to take part in its "chimp chatter" experiment. Details are available here.

As for us, we don't think there's much Vulture Central could learn from chimps. Our advice to those who need to address the animal within is this: if you're having a hard time with a work colleague, punch him; if you're being bullied at work, punch someone; and if your boss is giving you grief, bare your buttocks in a display of submission. It works every time. ®

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
Security and trust: The backbone of doing business over the internet
Explores the current state of website security and the contributions Symantec is making to help organizations protect critical data and build trust with customers.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.