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Outsourced US outfit rattles eBay begging bowl

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If you’re a European firm looking to outsource your 3D graphics, animation, and rendering requirements to an impoverished nation where jobs are harder to find than an Iraqi biological weapon of mass destruction, then today’s your lucky day.

For bids in excess of a modest $510, you can secure the services of “eDream Team”, specialists in said field who are flaunting themselves like two-bit hussies on eBay, desperate to attract some passing trade.

We can confirm that they are based in a country which has historically displayed some expertise in computing, but where programmers are now reduced to rifling dustbins for stale pizza crusts because their own jobs were outsourced to Kyrgyzstan.

You’ve guessed it — eDream Team are based in San Francisco, bless ’em, and have resorted to web prostitution because: “Our jobs were offshored because companies need to focus on the bottom line. We feel it is THEIR LOSS, YOUR GAIN.”

Not for El Reg, sadly. Our own graphical needs are serviced by a highly-skilled team of eight-year-olds in Ulan Bator. If, however, you have not yet seen the light and transferred all of your day-to-day administration to the Third World, here’s what the eDream team can offer: “Your winning bid will give you the exclusive right to negotiate a contract with the team. Your demonstration of support for a highly creative and dedicated group of people will guarantee that America stays at the top of the technology curve insuring its ingenuity and edge aren’t exported.”

For the record, eDream Team say they worked on Mission Impossible, The Last Samurai and The Matrix. Impressive, unless they mean the second two Matrix films, in which case they’d be well advised to keep shtum.

The hard-sell continues thus: “It would take an employer years to amass our collective, synergistic talents. Our goal is to find a win-win fit with a company that sees the value in a ready-made talent pool.”

Spot on. This is a great way to sell yourself to British companies — all of which can spot value in a ready-made talent pool from 5,000 miles. Which is, co-incidentally, the approximate distance from London to Bangalore.

And so we ask all readers with an interest in supporting developing nations to get out their chequebooks and throw some money at these boys. The proceeds of the auction, btw, will go to the George Lucas Educational Foundation, because “we, too, believe in the power of innovative learning environments — that’s what helped inspire our love of what we do.”

In the meantime, eDream Team might like to compare notes with ZDNet’s Tech Update, another US-based operation which also offered itself on eBay.

Sadly, that auction was quickly pulled — hardly the sort of spirit required to address the spectre of offshoring currently stalking the US like an apocalyptic, horse-mounted Indian callcentre operative. ®

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