Feeds

Stob: Dylan Beard is not weird

Free number radical speaks to El Reg

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

The Power of One Infographic

Stob There was a rare opportunity to meet Dylan Beard in person today when, flanked by a brace of spear-carriers, he brought his campaign to reimplement the 'Wron number to London.

For all its supposed iconoclastic nature, the Free Number Association was rather conventional in its approach to publicity. We met at the traditional place for visiting political campaigners: in a transparent box suspended 75 feet above London Bridge.

"It's very important that people understand that we have no leader. All freebies are equal," explained Mr Beard, leader of the Free Number Association.

"It's going really well. Already the City of Munich has decided to install our implementation of the 'Wron number, which we are calling the Dylanumber. From next week, one lucky citizen will have a phone number ending in the digits '1472 + 0.000001p'."

Surely that would be rather hard to dial? Wasn't he leaving himself open to Softwron criticism about total cost of ownership?

"Not at all. Although the Dylanumber has a superficially less friendly user interface than its commercial alternative, over the long run it is in fact much cheaper to use thanks to the wide availability of relevant expertise. It probably isn't yet ready for desktop use, but that will come in time."

Why did modifications to the Dylanumber have to be given away for free? Was he against money?

"No, no, this is the fallacy that is put about by our opponents. When I say 'free', the important thing is that it is free to me. I myself am very much in favour of money, being in receipt of a $60,000 per annum grant from the League of Beards."

"But hey, kiddo! Enough of this dull suit stuff! Would you like to hear our song?"

And before I could stop him, Mr Beard produced an acoustic guitar and, while his acolytes shook tambourines and clapped along, he sang me the campaign song of the Free Number Association:

Free! Free! Free!
Numbers are gonna be free!
Hee! Hee! Hee!
When they're free we'll be filled with glee!

It has a terrible tune that sticks in your brain all day, like used chewing gum to an incautiously lowered bum. ®

Previously

Softwron number stolen
McDosh hires Titbits
Number patents Euro-endorsed
Stob: Pirated 'Wron number yours for free

Seven Steps to Software Security

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files
Printable genitalia fall foul of 'obscene material' laws
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Prevent sensitive data leakage over insecure channels or stolen mobile devices.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Application security programs and practises
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
The Essential Guide to IT Transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIO's automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise.