Stob: Softwron number stolen
Lost weapon of maths destruction
Stob Pioneering patentee and litigator Softwron Inc admitted today that its infamous so-called 'Wron number (see El Reg passim) has been stolen and made available on the Internet, "where just anybody can download it and use it".
The theft was discovered late last night, when the employee assigned to look after the number found the door open and the cage empty. Investigators are working on the theory that it may have smuggled itself to freedom concealed inside a mobile phone, disguised as an ordinary telephone number.
"The number is like the solution to a crossword puzzle, or the infrared remote controller of a portable television," explained the BBC News correspondent in charge of explaining anything vaguely computer-related or scientific as if to a complete moron.
"Although the number is not itself a direct danger to the public, if you believe you may have logged onto the web and accidentally sucked it into your PC, you should switch off and unplug at the wall at once and seek professional help."
As usual, Softwron's universally loathed head honcho Rock McDosh was on hand to comment.
"We take this matter very seriously indeed, and we will not rest until the perpetrator is under lock and key, justice is done and seen to be done and the cows are come home. Going forward, Softwron is all set to take math into the 21st century. We will prevail!"
"Math" is the standard US English abbreviation for "mathematics", used even by very nice Americans like St Tom Lehrer. Deal with it. ®