Close Encounter yours for $1.3m
Interdimensional eBay madness
Blimey they don't half sell some old rubbish on eBay, eh? The latest extraordinary item to come to our attention is a close encounter video apparently shot in 1998 by someone called "Sargel18".
Of course, there's plenty of this sort of nonsense going down on the world's favourite auction site, but the blurb accompanying this particular must-have offer is worth a shufti. Here's the intro:
A BRIEF BIO ON SARGEL18: In 1988 a man walked down into his basement in his home in Ringwood NJ and sees hundreds of black Salamanders lining its walls and floor. At this exact moment, he remembers that while living in Wanaque NJ in 1964 he was invited aboard a UFO. After recalling this powerful experience, his life begins to fall apart and within months he finds himself at the door of a powerful witch in search of the meaning of his experiences. As the door opened, the words spoken to him would set him on the path of becoming one of the most successful metaphysical researchers to come about in our known memory.
"I've been waiting for you for 15 years. Now come inside it's time to start your teachings".
And so it goes twittering on for what seems like hours. What is actually for sale, though, is "history making, 1998 video footage of a meeting with an interdimensional Alien ('contact' by Sargel18) in the deep woods of Wanaque, NJ.".
Good Lord. And here, for the record, is what such an encounter (with suitable digital enhancements) looks like:
Please do not ask us what on earth a "preSumer Naggas" is and why it should want to appear in a puff of smoke in New Jersey. The vendor's insane ravings do not throw any light on the matter.
Still, if you'd like to examine the footage in further detail, it's yours for a cool $1.3m. And don't think about sending Mr 18 sarky emails, either. This bloke is deadly serious:
First, let's get this out of the way. Harassing and or menacing emails will be forwarded to the proper authorities. Also, please do not send me any letters, which contain attachments, as they will all, be deleted immediately, without viewing.
Let me also remind you that placing a winning bid on eBay constitutes a legally binding contract. Any false bids will be dealt with by eBay standards and also my lawyer will be contacted. Consider the above, fair warning as this is a legal auction.
Better play it safe and just visit Sargel18'swebsite
instead. It's heralded as "THE ONGOING RESEARCH OF AN ALCHEMICAL METAPHYSICIAN AT AN ANCIENT NEW JERSEY VORTEX", and complete with the following warning:
The pictures and information contained hereon can be very unsettling for some peoples realities. Our observation's show that over 7 out of 10 people when viewing certain pictures that relate directly to their belief systems have a tendency to shut down the reasoning part of the brain and show signs of nervous tension. We believe that this directly relates to reality programming that has been instilled in our race since its conception. "By whom", is the ultimate question that needs an answer. Please proceed with caution.
Readers will have to find out for themselves what shocking truths lie beyond this web portal, because there's no way on God's earth this particular hack is going to risk complete mental collapse by coming face-to-face with the intergalactic terror which is the preSumer Naggas. Don't say we didn't warn you. ®
Thanks to Mark Andrews for tracking down this insanity.