Feeds

Close Encounter yours for $1.3m

Interdimensional eBay madness

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

The Power of One Infographic

Blimey they don't half sell some old rubbish on eBay, eh? The latest extraordinary item to come to our attention is a close encounter video apparently shot in 1998 by someone called "Sargel18".

Of course, there's plenty of this sort of nonsense going down on the world's favourite auction site, but the blurb accompanying this particular must-have offer is worth a shufti. Here's the intro:

A BRIEF BIO ON SARGEL18: In 1988 a man walked down into his basement in his home in Ringwood NJ and sees hundreds of black Salamanders lining its walls and floor. At this exact moment, he remembers that while living in Wanaque NJ in 1964 he was invited aboard a UFO. After recalling this powerful experience, his life begins to fall apart and within months he finds himself at the door of a powerful witch in search of the meaning of his experiences. As the door opened, the words spoken to him would set him on the path of becoming one of the most successful metaphysical researchers to come about in our known memory.

"I've been waiting for you for 15 years. Now come inside it's time to start your teachings".


And so it goes twittering on for what seems like hours. What is actually for sale, though, is "history making, 1998 video footage of a meeting with an interdimensional Alien ('contact' by Sargel18) in the deep woods of Wanaque, NJ.".



Good Lord. And here, for the record, is what such an encounter (with suitable digital enhancements) looks like:

That close encounter in full

Please do not ask us what on earth a "preSumer Naggas" is and why it should want to appear in a puff of smoke in New Jersey. The vendor's insane ravings do not throw any light on the matter.

Still, if you'd like to examine the footage in further detail, it's yours for a cool $1.3m. And don't think about sending Mr 18 sarky emails, either. This bloke is deadly serious:

First, let's get this out of the way. Harassing and or menacing emails will be forwarded to the proper authorities. Also, please do not send me any letters, which contain attachments, as they will all, be deleted immediately, without viewing.

Let me also remind you that placing a winning bid on eBay constitutes a legally binding contract. Any false bids will be dealt with by eBay standards and also my lawyer will be contacted. Consider the above, fair warning as this is a legal auction.


Better play it safe and just visit Sargel18's

website

instead. It's heralded as "THE ONGOING RESEARCH OF AN ALCHEMICAL METAPHYSICIAN AT AN ANCIENT NEW JERSEY VORTEX", and complete with the following warning:



The pictures and information contained hereon can be very unsettling for some peoples realities. Our observation's show that over 7 out of 10 people when viewing certain pictures that relate directly to their belief systems have a tendency to shut down the reasoning part of the brain and show signs of nervous tension. We believe that this directly relates to reality programming that has been instilled in our race since its conception. "By whom", is the ultimate question that needs an answer. Please proceed with caution.

Readers will have to find out for themselves what shocking truths lie beyond this web portal, because there's no way on God's earth this particular hack is going to risk complete mental collapse by coming face-to-face with the intergalactic terror which is the preSumer Naggas. Don't say we didn't warn you. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Mark Andrews for tracking down this insanity.

Seven Steps to Software Security

More from The Register

next story
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files
Printable genitalia fall foul of 'obscene material' laws
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Prevent sensitive data leakage over insecure channels or stolen mobile devices.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Application security programs and practises
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
The Essential Guide to IT Transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIO's automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise.