Feeds

Alphabetical zoo killer terrorises Brazil

No IT angle, just dead animals

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

The essential guide to IT transformation

Brazilian police are fighting a desperate battle against time to save the lives of thousands of animals threatened by a merciless serial killer.

Since 24 January, Sao Paulo zoo has lost three chimapanzees, three tapirs, a trio of camels and an elephant. All apparently succumbed to rat poison.

The death toll mounted yesterday when an orangutan, bison and camel were found dead at the attraction. Chillingly, Brasilia's zoo is also investigating the deaths on 9 January of two kangaroos, Jumper and Lucky - although neither is currently jumping nor particularly lucky, it must be said.

In every case the poison used contained sodium fluoroacetate, a banned toxin. Police suspect, therefore, that the killer may have some chemical knowledge.

We at Vulture Central reckon that he or she might in addition have an alphabetical guide to animals of the world, given that 12 of the victims began with the letters "a", "b", "c" or "e". No mistake here: the terrifying truth is that the tapir is known locally as the anta do Brasil, while the kangaroo is rendered in Portuguese as canguru.

OK, we're prepared to concede that the untimely demise of the orangutan (orangotango) is a serious anomaly, but in the absence of any other leads might we suggest that police throw an immediate defensive cordon around every ferret (furão), chicken (galinha) and hippo (hipopótamo) in the land, while safely diverting much-needed security resources from the xarroco (toadfish) enclosure. ®

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 10 endpoint backup mistakes
Avoid the ten endpoint backup mistakes to ensure that your critical corporate data is protected and end user productivity is improved.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Rethinking backup and recovery in the modern data center
Combining intelligence, operational analytics, and automation to enable efficient, data-driven IT organizations using the HP ABR approach.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.