Cash’n’Carrion UK satire site The Rockall Times has, we gather, finally addressed its content management issues and re-entered the Web stage left to a slightly discordant fanfare of trumpets.

To celebrate this momentous occassion - and presumably to shamelessly rattle the tin in aid of their new CMS - they have expanded their popular smoking warning range with an all-new offering.

Warming to the theme of the hidden dangers of lighting up - as exemplified in the original "Smoking leads to heroin addiction, paedophilia and suicide bombing" - the voice of the world's remotest islet has decided to offer guidance to those who have, despite the inevitability of their eventual decline into sexual perversion and drug addiction, been unable to kick the habit:

Good, solid advice to be sure. The new shirt is available right now at Cash'n'Carrion, is available in a range of sizes from medium to XXL and costs £12.76 (£14.99 inc VAT).

What's more, this slogan is delivered on a premium 100 per cent black cotton shirt guaranteed free of nicotine, benzene, nitrosamines, formaldehyde and hydrogen cyanide. So, if you'd like to do your bit for both British public health and UK satire, here's your chance. ®