Vulture Central recently predicted (http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/28/34748.html) that conspiracy theorists would soon be scanning Mars rover snaps for evidence of extra-terrestrial life such as mountains in the form of Kylie Minogue's buttocks and rockfaces carved into iconic representations of Sir Bill Gates of Seattle (http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/7/35098.html).

The truth has turned out to be almost as terrifying with the discovery of the number "19" clearly etched into a Martian rock, and captured by the fearless Spirit rover:

But what does it mean? Chillingly, according to numerologists (http://www.auau.com.au/numerology.htm), the numbers 1 and 9 transpose into the letters AI. Co-incidence? We think not.

We can now say with absolute certainty that Mars was previously inhabited by super-intelligent machine beings which, for reasons unknown but probably related to a lack of any decent nightlife on that distant world, came to Earth where they are now running the UK's rail network and teaching cybernetics (http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/archive/22036.html) at Reading University.

While we wait with bated breath the humanity-rocking impact of this bombshell, we'd like to offer NASA a suggestion regarding its poorly Spirit rover.

Reports suggest a full file system (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/3431617.stm) is to blame for its current malaise. Reader Paul Jaggard thinks that if the ailing dune buggy can crawl to the PC World we previously located (http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/28/34748.html), the helpful staff there could - after checking the flash memory for any net porn the rover may have downloaded for "research purposes" during the last couple of weeks - give it a scrub and shave and send it on its way.

We agree. Every minute Sprit spends dossing about on far-flung reaches of the galaxy is a minute lost to the breathless pursuit of Martian simulacra. ®

Bootnote

Reader Shawn s, aka Plasmahawk, tells us the original rover picture can be found here (http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/gallery/all/2/p/013/2P127522190EFF0309P2511L2M1.JPG). It may not stay there for long, though, once the black helicopters move in, remove the photograph and kill anyone who has ever seen it.