Feeds

Revealed: chilling numerical proof of life on Mars

1+9 = advanced robot civilisation

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Vulture Central recently predicted that conspiracy theorists would soon be scanning Mars rover snaps for evidence of extra-terrestrial life such as mountains in the form of Kylie Minogue's buttocks and rockfaces carved into iconic representations of Sir Bill Gates of Seattle.

The truth has turned out to be almost as terrifying with the discovery of the number "19" clearly etched into a Martian rock, and captured by the fearless Spirit rover:

Revealed: chilling proof of life on Mars

But what does it mean? Chillingly, according to numerologists, the numbers 1 and 9 transpose into the letters AI. Co-incidence? We think not.

We can now say with absolute certainty that Mars was previously inhabited by super-intelligent machine beings which, for reasons unknown but probably related to a lack of any decent nightlife on that distant world, came to Earth where they are now running the UK's rail network and teaching cybernetics at Reading University.

While we wait with bated breath the humanity-rocking impact of this bombshell, we'd like to offer NASA a suggestion regarding its poorly Spirit rover.

Reports suggest a full file system is to blame for its current malaise. Reader Paul Jaggard thinks that if the ailing dune buggy can crawl to the PC World we previously located, the helpful staff there could - after checking the flash memory for any net porn the rover may have downloaded for "research purposes" during the last couple of weeks - give it a scrub and shave and send it on its way.

We agree. Every minute Sprit spends dossing about on far-flung reaches of the galaxy is a minute lost to the breathless pursuit of Martian simulacra. ®

Bootnote

Reader Shawn s, aka Plasmahawk, tells us the original rover picture can be found here. It may not stay there for long, though, once the black helicopters move in, remove the photograph and kill anyone who has ever seen it.

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Driving business with continuous operational intelligence
Introducing an innovative approach offered by ExtraHop for producing continuous operational intelligence.
Why CIOs should rethink endpoint data protection in the age of mobility
Assessing trends in data protection, specifically with respect to mobile devices, BYOD, and remote employees.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Mitigating web security risk with SSL certificates
Web-based systems are essential tools for running business processes and delivering services to customers.