Feeds

IT Marathon girl goes head-to-head with perjuring peer

Athlete battles Lord Archer to raise £2m for charity

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

We salute our generous readers today for the tremendous effort which has seen the total raised for charity by the topless Somerset girl jump from £1,092.50 to £1,754.50 in just three days.

One kind-hearted soul, who gave 50 quid, noted: "I found you through The Register. You look gorgeous, I hope you stay healthy for many years to come."

Bless. Well, we do like to do our bit, and have just been alerted to a new charitable initiative in which an anonymous young woman aims to raise a cool £2m by running in April's London Marathon.

What's interesting about this is that said athlete (an IT professional, our sources confirm) is motivated by the desire to outdo perjuring peer Jeffrey Archer in the sponsorship stakes.

The highly-talented Archer, who is variously author, former London mayoral candidate and inside expert on the British penal system, has declared he will raise £1.66m, thereby breaking the record for a marathon sponsorship drive.

The so-called "Ms Ordinary" is having none of it: "When we think of the London Marathon, we think of Paula Radcliffe’s magnificent record beating triumph last year; that thrilling 5-way finish in the men's race; the enthusiasm of vast crowds of spectators supporting both the elite runners and those that need 7 hours or more; the massive amounts of money raised for good causes. Do the British people want to include 'disgraced peer' Archer in those thoughts? Surely not.

"Why should Jeffrey Archer hijack the London Marathon for his own personal glory? Surely the British people deserve better. He is trying to raise £1.66 million for charity and break the record for the largest charity sum raised for a marathon. If just 1 million people donated £2 each, then we could raise £2 million, and with a bit of luck we'll never have to hear from him again."

We doubt that somehow. However, Ms Ordinary is on the right track with her support for Childline, Shelter, Cancer Research UK, Help the Aged and NSPCC. Her total currently stands at £2,538, and readers wishing to boost the charity coffers can do so on the People Vs Peer website. Credit card/cheque donations are accepted for any of the individual charities listed above. ®

Bootnote

The sponsorship record is held by none other than J-Lo's ex-squeeze P Diddy "who raised approx. £1.2m in the NYC marathon". Blimey, 26 miles on the streets of The Big Apple without pulling a piece on someone? Tremendous effort Mr Diddy.

3 Big data security analytics techniques

More from The Register

next story
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a defence for mobile apps
In this whitepaper learn the various considerations for defending mobile applications; from the mobile application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies needed to properly assess mobile applications risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.