Long, long ago, in a news galaxy some considerable distance from reality, we reported on attempts to get Jedi recognised as an official religion in the UK census.

After some concerns that anyone entering their religion as Jedi would be thrown down a very deep well, the government eventually - and certainly with a sigh of resignation - conceded that Jedi could express their faith on the census form.

Of the 247817 people recorded in London-sur-Mer, 6,480 have the force, representing 2.6 per cent of the population.

Shamefully, Easington (Durham) could muster just 152 knights, or 0.2 per cent of locals, and takes the Jedi wooden spoon in 376th place. The national total was a healthy 390,000, leaving no doubt that Blighty is well protected against Death Star attack for the foreseeable future.

As for Brighton, we're sure that one of the 6,000-plus creative metropolitan types who claim to be a bit handy with a light sabre could turn his or her hand to writing a decent Star Wars movie script and sending it to good old George before he inflicts another Jar Jar Binks on an incredulous world. Jump to it. ®

Bootnote

Cheers to reader Brett Davis for reminding us of this silliness.