419ers reduced to Welsh penury
End of the line for the Boys from Lagos?
An email received this morning confirms what we had long suspected: that Nigerian 419ers have finally run out of steam in the creative department.
Gone are the entertaining sagas of war-torn Africa, of unclaimed billions in gold bullion, of mysterious safety deposit boxes.
Instead we get the same old "relative of Charles Taylor" formula, tacked on a half-hearted story about foreign property investment. This constitutes an abject failure to move with the times - every self-respecting fraudster knows that Democratic Republic of Congo is the civil war of the moment. We're amazed this savage punch-up has not already spawned hundreds of government officials fleeing the carnage dragging suitcases bulging with readies.
If 419ers are now severely impoverished in the narrative department, then their wallets appear to be similarly strapped. Our new breed of refugee no longer graces the five-star hotels of Sierra Leone and South Africa, but is reduced to soliciting assistance from Wales. For shame.
Still, at least this email is not from the legendary Maryam Abacha who preferred her missives ENTIRELY IN CAPITALS. Good old Maryam. Did she ever get those diamonds/$30m/bearer bonds out of Luanda/Cape Town/Harare? Perhaps someone can email Walter at the obligatory Tiscali email address and ask him:
I wish to introduce myself to you. My name is Walter Taylor. I am the brother to the president of Liberia Mr. Charles Taylor.Due to the present war in my country Liberia, I wish to invest in Hotels and commercial properties in your country. Myself, wife and children managed to get on a Red Cross airplane that was evacuating foreigners from the theatre of war in my country and presently, we are in Wales in the United Kingdom (UK).Your assistance and cooperation is required as regards this project.
Please send an e-mail to me indicating your desire to help me and my family invest this funds. I await your positive response to my e-mail letter at email@example.com
Mr. Walter Taylor
We think the solution to this "fraudsters block" is for some form of spam consolidation alliance, whereby the 419ers and other spammers could pool their resources for a final, concerted onslaught on the terminally gullible. We'd like to suggest the following:
How was your Xmas vacation? I'm sorry I didn't get back to you before, but we've had a pretty lively New Year over here, i can tell you.
Anyway, here's the details of that offer you asked me about. As you know, I'm Maryam Kabila, daughter of the late president of the Democratic Republic of Congo. Due to political instability in that country, myself and my children caught Red Cross bus to Rwanda where my Late Father held safety deposit box in Kigali Central EuroBank INC.
In box is shipping notes for $100m of PENIS ENLARGEMENT SUPPLIMENT currently in bonded warehouse in Zaire. The stocks are part of unfinished goverment contract signed by the late THOMAS C.GREENE of US of AMERICA.
Tragic enough, GREENE and his family were killed in a ghastly motor incident along PanAmerica highway. Zaire lawyers state PENIS MEDICINE cannot be released, only to relative of GREENE, so I ask trusted business partner to go to ZAIRE as GREENE'S brother and secure freedom of big riches.
As partner you will bank 30% of profit, 70% for me and children and 5% set aside for necessary expenses. Also I guarantee you will have a larger member within 14 days or your money back!
Please email me in strict confidence: firstname.lastname@example.org.
PS: Attached is the address of that great discounted mortgage site I mentioned. You owe me a beer for this one!