Feeds

Axe falls on net pin-up's 36D assets

Back to radio for CH4's Zora Suleman

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

Zora Suleman: back to the radio for you, my girl

She may be about to lose her job at CH4's lamentable RI:SE, but sultry Latin beauty Zora Suleman can at least take comfort from the fact that she has become a bit of an Internet celebrity.

The breakfast TV newsreader and her near-legendary assets will most likely return to radio after bosses decided to stick the big needle into the ailing entertainment puppy.

RI:SE pretty well redefined the pre-brunch paradigm with a standard of content so low that it disproved once and for all the theory that an infinite number of monkeys banging away at an infinite number of typewriters for infinity would eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare.

The news that Suleman will soon be removed from our screens has sent shockwaves through the masturbatory adolescent net community. The generously encleavaged minx can boast - in common with just about any other celebrity possessing lumps and a pulse - numerous homage sites and noticeboards speculating on when, and if, she will ever return.

Suleman herself has said that she will probably go back to radio (she previously worked for Capital), and reckons her 36D bust would rule her out of any serious TV newsreading post. The fact that she chose to commit journalistic suicide by flaunting herself like a two-bit hussy on Channel 4 apparently has nothing to do with it.

And if the unthinkable happens, Suleman's army of net fans will have to look elsewhere for their early-morning bowl of mammarial nourishment.

As for the CH4 breakfast slot, might we suggest programmers consider a newsreading dwarf on a trampoline and a bikini-clad Norwegian weathergirl. And topless darts. Now that's what we call entertainment. ®

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.