Feeds

Axe falls on net pin-up's 36D assets

Back to radio for CH4's Zora Suleman

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

High performance access to file storage

Zora Suleman: back to the radio for you, my girl

She may be about to lose her job at CH4's lamentable RI:SE, but sultry Latin beauty Zora Suleman can at least take comfort from the fact that she has become a bit of an Internet celebrity.

The breakfast TV newsreader and her near-legendary assets will most likely return to radio after bosses decided to stick the big needle into the ailing entertainment puppy.

RI:SE pretty well redefined the pre-brunch paradigm with a standard of content so low that it disproved once and for all the theory that an infinite number of monkeys banging away at an infinite number of typewriters for infinity would eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare.

The news that Suleman will soon be removed from our screens has sent shockwaves through the masturbatory adolescent net community. The generously encleavaged minx can boast - in common with just about any other celebrity possessing lumps and a pulse - numerous homage sites and noticeboards speculating on when, and if, she will ever return.

Suleman herself has said that she will probably go back to radio (she previously worked for Capital), and reckons her 36D bust would rule her out of any serious TV newsreading post. The fact that she chose to commit journalistic suicide by flaunting herself like a two-bit hussy on Channel 4 apparently has nothing to do with it.

And if the unthinkable happens, Suleman's army of net fans will have to look elsewhere for their early-morning bowl of mammarial nourishment.

As for the CH4 breakfast slot, might we suggest programmers consider a newsreading dwarf on a trampoline and a bikini-clad Norwegian weathergirl. And topless darts. Now that's what we call entertainment. ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Mainstay ROI - Does application security pay?
In this whitepaper learn how you and your enterprise might benefit from better software security.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.