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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

If you're a disaffected yoof with a penchant for dogs on string, anti-capitalist bin chucking and generally opposing US presidential state visits, then you need to get yourself straight down to Phat Tonez.

This anarchist ringtone collective has decided to offer a free "Stop Bush" logo for mobes, and has apparently already attracted close on 2000 downloads.

Phat Tonez director James Winsoar explains the frenzy thus: "This indicates to me that there are hundreds of thousands of teenagers out there who are interested in politics and who object to the way that George Bush has orchestrated himself recently".

True, Bush's orchestration is a shameful mess. Whether the same can be said of his conduct is another matter. Well, Winsoar is no doubt: "Personally I believe that George Bush lied about links between Iraq and the World Trade Center crash, and the true reason for invading was to secure oil reserves, rather than hunt for weapons of mass destruction. It is incredible that Blair and Bush claim the war is over even though it still continues and Saddam has still not been caught".

Ah, the old oil reserves conspiracy. Haven't heard that one since the Falklands, and Gulf War I. Still, if you can hear the distant sound of black helicopters and would like to help stuff Bush and Blair in their insane lust-filled quest for petroleum, get the logo here. ®

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