Can't get a shag? Get nTAG!

Electronic aid for the socially awkward

Hi my name's Bob and I'm socially inadequate

Do you have trouble interacting with members of the opposite sex? Do you find it hard to start conversations in social gatherings? Well, help may be at hand in the form of the ice-breaking

nTAG

.

The nTAG is something you hang round your neck like a conference badge. The devices talk to each other by infrared and are connected to a central server via radio. nTAG's website explains it all thus:

nTAG Interactive provides a complete event communications system for forward-thinking business and social gatherings. The system is built around our groundbreaking interactive name badge - the nTAG. nTAGs are wearable computers that improve networking among event participants while streamlining event management.

Yes, while nTAG is principally aimed at the corporate market, we gather it has recently been tested on several hundred unfortunates at a US technology conference. The nTAGs were programmed with personal details and alerted wearers when someone socially compatible came into range.

Which is tremendous news for those who really can't deal with the nitty-gritty of human interaction. We reckon it will be a boon for singles nights. Just programme in your wants and preferences, and wait for nTAG to alert you to the presence of a receptive potential partner. You wouldn't even need to speak - nTAG could do the whole thing for you:

  • nTAG 1: (Triggered by proximity to possible sexual match) Fancy a shag?

  • nTAG 2: (After analysing the wearer of nTAG 1's proclivities) Yeah ok.

  • nTAG 1: My place or yours?

The nTAG server then orders a minicab and alerts the event organisers so that the two lovebirds can't run off into the night without handing back their nTAGs.

And that, we believe, is the future for both the socially inadequate and nTAG. Why so for nTAG? What about the corporate possibilities? Well, we think that any sane person would have to held at gunpoint to induce them to carry an electronic device which, besides containing personal or other information which is transmitted wirelessly, can also be tracked by event organisers and makes the wearer look like a complete muppet. We could be wrong, of course. ®

Sponsored: 5 critical considerations for enterprise cloud backup