IBM minimizing ROI – what it means to you

Reader revolt re: Minimize your ROI with IBM

Last week, we brought you news that IBM had kicked off a new SAP services plan that focuses in on "reducing TCO (Total Cost of Ownership) and minimizing ROI (Return on Investment)." It's not often that a vendor touts its ability to minimize an investment, and we decided the IBM slide presented at a TechEd show in Basel must be a mistake. Our firm yet fair readers have chipped in to explain what IBM must have really meant by minimizing ROI.

The first reader to posit a guess came from the SCO-hater crowd, which is no surprise. The SCO patrol is on code red alert, looking for chances to take pot shots at SCO CEO Darl "Mr. Clean" McBride.

"Personally I think its a typo," writes GeisT. "It's not ROI (Capital letter i), it's a small L. So what does ROL stand for in this case? Reliance on lawyers of course, its IBMs secret imdemnity plan for linux customers. Eat that Darl. :)"

The second response? You guessed it. SCO hater.

"My first though would be "Really Old Inventory", but looking into the situation reveals the true meaning of IBM's ROI: minimize your Relationship to Open-source IP," writes Brian Jones. "Now give me some candy."

These are liberal interpretations of the text to be sure.

It took awhile, but the enterprise types began to appear and expressed their dismay with the giant that is IBM.

"R.O.I. = Reasonable Operator Initiative," writes Daniel Brown. "Having worked with IBM global services on occasion, this sounds dead-on to me. Contract out to IBM, and you lose any ability to take the initiative."

Next came minimizing "Redmond's Overall Income" from Dax Farrer and minimizing "Realizations of Impropriety" from John Krivak.

A whole class of readers shall remain nameless for minimizing the term minimizing right out of their responses. They simply attacked the ROI and left out the most tempting bit. Still, their creativity should be recognized.

The responses are as follows: "Really Old Inventory, Really Old Ideas, Really Old Interfaces." Anyone seeing a trend here? "Really Old Idiots." Okay, that's enough.

"Redundant Organizational Infrastructure, Reign of Ignorance, Return of Impotence, Reap our Income, Ridiculously Overpriced Investments, Rampant Overhead Investment and Route to Incontinence" Another reader chipped in with "Recognition of Irony," but that may have been a shot at us instead of IBM.

The winner, however, comes from a chap named Merlin. He made strong use of the PowerPoint slide, showed linguistic excitement and even pitted IBM against itself.

"ROI = Reliance On IBM (minimizing this would help reduce TCO too!) Double the fun!"

Should Merlin make his whereabouts known, we may be able to treat to him to a beer or a non-alcoholic beverage of his choice and a piece of Carrion kit. ®

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