Feeds

Captain Cyborg returns with Wi-Fi rhubarb!

Welcome back, Master of Gibberish

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Security for virtualized datacentres

As inevitable as a summer cold, Kevin Warwick aka Captain Cyborg has returned to spread his own unique brand of doom-saying.

What has he “implanted” this time in order to prove that man will become subservient to machines? Nothing. But as the world’s leading expert in putting reed switches under the skin for a couple of days and exclaiming he is part man, part machine, Captain Cyborg has foreseen the implant of the future.

Yes, within 10 years, we will all have Wi-Fi chips implanted in our heads that will allow direct mind-to-machine communication in airports, coffee shops and selected hotel chains.

Unlike the other ludicrous chip experiments of 1998 and 2002 though, Kevin has given no precise date for this particular bout of self-promotion, sorry, experimentation. This is because the technology doesn’t exist or work yet. An odd reason given his track record, but there you go.

So what about the doom-mongering? Well the thing is that the mind would become so used to this new super-power that if the chip were to be removed, the brain may not survive! We waited with bated breath to see whether this prediction comes true.

We suspect however it may follow the same pattern as the two previous chip experiments - tons of publicity, neatly tying in with a new book and then no word ever of how the experiment actually went.

Did our Kev actually manage to connect his last chip to his nervous system, record arm movements and play them back so his arm moved involuntarily? Or, as he claimed, did he manage to connect psychically with his wife? Or was it all just bollocks again? ®

Related stories
Kid-chipper Cap Cyborg reported to police, social services
Captain Cyborg gets oil-check at BBC
All Cap’n Cyborg stories

Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management

More from The Register

next story
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.