The Register® — Biting the hand that feeds IT

Captain Cyborg returns with Wi-Fi rhubarb!

Welcome back, Master of Gibberish

Free whitepaper – Migrating to the new Dell Management Console

As inevitable as a summer cold, Kevin Warwick aka Captain Cyborg has returned to spread his own unique brand of doom-saying.

What has he “implanted” this time in order to prove that man will become subservient to machines? Nothing. But as the world’s leading expert in putting reed switches under the skin for a couple of days and exclaiming he is part man, part machine, Captain Cyborg has foreseen the implant of the future.

Yes, within 10 years, we will all have Wi-Fi chips implanted in our heads that will allow direct mind-to-machine communication in airports, coffee shops and selected hotel chains.

Unlike the other ludicrous chip experiments of 1998 and 2002 though, Kevin has given no precise date for this particular bout of self-promotion, sorry, experimentation. This is because the technology doesn’t exist or work yet. An odd reason given his track record, but there you go.

So what about the doom-mongering? Well the thing is that the mind would become so used to this new super-power that if the chip were to be removed, the brain may not survive! We waited with bated breath to see whether this prediction comes true.

We suspect however it may follow the same pattern as the two previous chip experiments - tons of publicity, neatly tying in with a new book and then no word ever of how the experiment actually went.

Did our Kev actually manage to connect his last chip to his nervous system, record arm movements and play them back so his arm moved involuntarily? Or, as he claimed, did he manage to connect psychically with his wife? Or was it all just bollocks again? ®

Related stories
Kid-chipper Cap Cyborg reported to police, social services
Captain Cyborg gets oil-check at BBC
All Cap’n Cyborg stories

Free whitepaper – Migrating to the new Dell Management Console

Don’t Miss

DustbinDirty, dirty PCs: The X-rated picture guide

Ventblockers Horror beyond human imagination

SC09Top 500 supers - rise of the Linux quad-cores

SC09 Jaguar munches Roadrunner

Ubuntu teaser Early adopters bloodied by Ubuntu's Karmic Koala

Smooth Windows upgrade it ain't

Sign up, sign up for The Register IT security newsletter

Narrowcasting for the email classes