Feeds

Captain Cyborg returns with Wi-Fi rhubarb!

Welcome back, Master of Gibberish

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Security for virtualized datacentres

As inevitable as a summer cold, Kevin Warwick aka Captain Cyborg has returned to spread his own unique brand of doom-saying.

What has he “implanted” this time in order to prove that man will become subservient to machines? Nothing. But as the world’s leading expert in putting reed switches under the skin for a couple of days and exclaiming he is part man, part machine, Captain Cyborg has foreseen the implant of the future.

Yes, within 10 years, we will all have Wi-Fi chips implanted in our heads that will allow direct mind-to-machine communication in airports, coffee shops and selected hotel chains.

Unlike the other ludicrous chip experiments of 1998 and 2002 though, Kevin has given no precise date for this particular bout of self-promotion, sorry, experimentation. This is because the technology doesn’t exist or work yet. An odd reason given his track record, but there you go.

So what about the doom-mongering? Well the thing is that the mind would become so used to this new super-power that if the chip were to be removed, the brain may not survive! We waited with bated breath to see whether this prediction comes true.

We suspect however it may follow the same pattern as the two previous chip experiments - tons of publicity, neatly tying in with a new book and then no word ever of how the experiment actually went.

Did our Kev actually manage to connect his last chip to his nervous system, record arm movements and play them back so his arm moved involuntarily? Or, as he claimed, did he manage to connect psychically with his wife? Or was it all just bollocks again? ®

Related stories
Kid-chipper Cap Cyborg reported to police, social services
Captain Cyborg gets oil-check at BBC
All Cap’n Cyborg stories

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer
And, um, don't sleep with other men. If that's what worries you
Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth
They're insured for $1m, before you thirsty folks make plans
Now: The REAL APPLE NEWS you need to know
OMG! Gravity's totes amazeballs. Calm down, George Clooney, not your film
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Let's make an app that POSTS your POO to APPLE HQ
Plus: It's OPEN WARFARE in the Linux greybeard world
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.