Feeds

Captain Cyborg returns with Wi-Fi rhubarb!

Welcome back, Master of Gibberish

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Eight steps to building an HP BladeSystem

As inevitable as a summer cold, Kevin Warwick aka Captain Cyborg has returned to spread his own unique brand of doom-saying.

What has he “implanted” this time in order to prove that man will become subservient to machines? Nothing. But as the world’s leading expert in putting reed switches under the skin for a couple of days and exclaiming he is part man, part machine, Captain Cyborg has foreseen the implant of the future.

Yes, within 10 years, we will all have Wi-Fi chips implanted in our heads that will allow direct mind-to-machine communication in airports, coffee shops and selected hotel chains.

Unlike the other ludicrous chip experiments of 1998 and 2002 though, Kevin has given no precise date for this particular bout of self-promotion, sorry, experimentation. This is because the technology doesn’t exist or work yet. An odd reason given his track record, but there you go.

So what about the doom-mongering? Well the thing is that the mind would become so used to this new super-power that if the chip were to be removed, the brain may not survive! We waited with bated breath to see whether this prediction comes true.

We suspect however it may follow the same pattern as the two previous chip experiments - tons of publicity, neatly tying in with a new book and then no word ever of how the experiment actually went.

Did our Kev actually manage to connect his last chip to his nervous system, record arm movements and play them back so his arm moved involuntarily? Or, as he claimed, did he manage to connect psychically with his wife? Or was it all just bollocks again? ®

Related stories
Kid-chipper Cap Cyborg reported to police, social services
Captain Cyborg gets oil-check at BBC
All Cap’n Cyborg stories

Reducing security risks from open source software

More from The Register

next story
Delaware pair nabbed for getting saucy atop Mexican eatery
Burrito meets soft taco in alleged rooftop romp outrage
Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files
Printable genitalia fall foul of 'obscene material' laws
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Apple: No, China. iPhone is NOT public enemy number 1
Beijing fears it could beam secrets back to America
Canuck reader threatens suicide over exact dimensions of SPAAAACE!
How many As? Reg hack's writing cops a shoeing
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
prev story

Whitepapers

Reducing security risks from open source software
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Application security programs and practises
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Consolidation: the foundation for IT and business transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.