Baseball legend goes up for sale on the Net
Jail visits are better bargain
Former U.S. baseball great Jose Canseco has put himself up for sale on the Internet - one afternoon at a time.
Canseco has set up one of the most compelling shopping carts on the Web. Any youngster with $2,500 to spare can rent Canseco for an afternoon and frolic with the former All-Star and home run champ at his Florida pad.
Canseco skimped a bit in describing exactly what kind of quality time $2,500 will buy. Visitors to his site can find but a two sentence blurb above the "Add to Cart" button.
"Spend the afternoon with Jose at his house in south Florida," the site says. "Round trip limousine service from local airports included. Price includes one guest 17 and under."
Should little Jimmy want to bring his dad along for the day with Jose, it will cost an extra $1,000.
The big problem with this tempting package is that Canseco is not likely to find a free weekend in his schedule anytime soon. The slugger is currently residing in a Miami jail, awaiting a hearing on a probation violation.
Canseco is accused of failing a drug test while on probation. The drug in question is an obvious choice for any retired athlete. Steroids.
Steroids and Canseco go together like a crack addict and his pipe. Canseco stirred up the baseball world last year when he admitted to using steroids en route to his massive total of 462 career home runs. The Cuban-born player then had the audacity to claim in a tell all book that most professional baseballs players are on the juice.
Since he left the big leagues short of the 500 home run milestone, Canseco has flitted in and out of jails on an assortment of charges.
It's sad to see the depths to which the once great can fall.
It is, however, good to know that Canseco likes to stay in shape for his afternoon visits from fans. Pumping the roids in retirement is a lot to ask, but for $2,500, Canseco had best show up in his full glory.
If you can't wait for Canseco to make his way out of the pen, fans can reportedly pay $24.99 for a visit and $34.99 to accompany Canseco in the exercise yard. ®