Feeds

How to get a 3G handset for nothing

Your step-by-step guide to upgrading your mobile

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

Those readers suffering from deep feelings of social inadequacy as they watch their affluent friends sending full-colour polyphonic video clips or 3D Java-enabled text messages from their 3G handsets might be interested in the following guide to obtaining any mobile phone for nothing.

Sounds too good to be true? Well, the following seemingly implausible method to achieve technological nirvana has already been fully field tested in China, and it works. Try this:

  • Posing as an investor from Taiwan, chat up woman in beauty parlour and convince her to accompany you to mobile phone shop.

  • Select phone and ask to test it outside.

  • Allay shop assistant's suspicions by leaving "wife" and envelope stuffed with cash as deposit.

  • Leg it with phone, leaving police to arrest woman and discover that "cash" is actually nothing more than waste paper.

  • Enjoy the admiration of your friends at your new acquisition.

Brilliant. We salute the rogue who recently pulled off this audacious coup in Lingyuanxilu, Guangzhou Province, and made off with a Nokia handset. For the record, his "accomplice" was able to convince police that she knew nothing of the plan, and had only known the man for three days. She was quickly released. ®

Intelligent flash storage arrays

More from The Register

next story
FCC, Google cast eye over millimetre wireless
The smaller the wave, the bigger 5G's chances of success
It's even GRIMMER up North after MEGA SKY BROADBAND OUTAGE
By 'eck! Eccles cake production thrown into jeopardy
Mobile coverage on trains really is pants
You thought it was just *insert your provider here*, but now we have numbers
Don't mess with Texas ('cos it's getting Google Fiber and you're not)
A bit late, but company says 1Gbps Austin network almost ready to compete with AT&T
prev story

Whitepapers

Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.