A suburb of Christchurch, New Zealand, was brought to a standstill earlier this week by a suicide-bombing chicken.

A member of the public alerted the authorities after seeing a fanatical fowl charging around the city sporting canisters and wires. Quite rightly, the police responded in force and, after cornering the bird in an alleyway with the aid of the bomb disposal squad, safely "put down" the terrorist threat. No explosives were subsequently found.

It seems likely that practical jokers rather than Hamas are responsible for this terrifying new weapon, although as Sergeant Ian Freeman of Christchurch police noted: "There's a funny side to the story, but the serious side is we've got to take all precautions."

Absolutely. After all, had you considered how many occupants of your local petting zoo might harbour Islamic fundamentalist tendencies? Terrifying. ®

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