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For sale: One annoying tw*t of a girlfriend

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Updated There's no doubt that eBay really is a vast improvement on the old Exchange and Mart when it comes to getting rid of unwanted items. Like girlfriends, for instance.

Indeed, where else could you expect to attract a bid of £10,000,000 for one second-hand partner, described thus?:

One annoying twat of a girlfriend. WARNING GOODS ARE DEFECTIVE!!! Slightly overweight. Teeth are cold (they come with little yellow jackets). Boring as hell. More varied sexlife available from a bag of spuds. She will two tone any residence she is allow access to in samba and sickly yellow, symbolic of a effeminate mexican. Can't/won't/shouldn't be allowed to cook (this may result in poisoning). Owner is forced to sell in order that he be able to gain access to the TV and stop the bitch watching poxy DIY programs despite not knowing which end of a paintbrush to hold. Buyer will collect and never ever return. Attempts at refunds or returns may result in actual bodily harm. Please please please bid now!!! Hopefully said girlfriend will make her own bloody way to buyer saving P&P.

We note that the seller has quite correctly listed his unwanted other half under "Everything Else: Household Appliances". The photo is a nice touch, too, and doubtless contributed to the healthy bidding war.

Readers are advised to enjoy this bit of tomfoolery while they can. Following our report two weeks ago on the four geeks offering themselves for a date, eBay quickly pulled the plug on the auction. Sadly, it appears that eBay's sense of humour is currently as elusive as an Iraqi weapon of mass destruction. For shame. ®

Update

Yup, it took eBay two minutes to kill this auction. Well, we anticipated this. For your viewing pleasure, we are pleased to reproduce the picture which complimented the sale. Please note that we have added "porn bars" and Body Shop sea urchin and guava face mask to protect the innocent:

Yours for £10m - one unwanted girlfriend

Bootnote

We can't help feeling that the vendor in this case is a prime candidate to receive one of our

Clever Trevor limited edition t-shirts

. Now

there

was a man looking to have his vitals chopped off with a carving knife.

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