Feeds

For sale: One annoying tw*t of a girlfriend

More eBay auction fun and games

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

3 Big data security analytics techniques

Updated There's no doubt that eBay really is a vast improvement on the old Exchange and Mart when it comes to getting rid of unwanted items. Like girlfriends, for instance.

Indeed, where else could you expect to attract a bid of £10,000,000 for one second-hand partner, described thus?:

One annoying twat of a girlfriend. WARNING GOODS ARE DEFECTIVE!!! Slightly overweight. Teeth are cold (they come with little yellow jackets). Boring as hell. More varied sexlife available from a bag of spuds. She will two tone any residence she is allow access to in samba and sickly yellow, symbolic of a effeminate mexican. Can't/won't/shouldn't be allowed to cook (this may result in poisoning). Owner is forced to sell in order that he be able to gain access to the TV and stop the bitch watching poxy DIY programs despite not knowing which end of a paintbrush to hold. Buyer will collect and never ever return. Attempts at refunds or returns may result in actual bodily harm. Please please please bid now!!! Hopefully said girlfriend will make her own bloody way to buyer saving P&P.

We note that the seller has quite correctly listed his unwanted other half under "Everything Else: Household Appliances". The photo is a nice touch, too, and doubtless contributed to the healthy bidding war.

Readers are advised to enjoy this bit of tomfoolery while they can. Following our report two weeks ago on the four geeks offering themselves for a date, eBay quickly pulled the plug on the auction. Sadly, it appears that eBay's sense of humour is currently as elusive as an Iraqi weapon of mass destruction. For shame. ®

Update

Yup, it took eBay two minutes to kill this auction. Well, we anticipated this. For your viewing pleasure, we are pleased to reproduce the picture which complimented the sale. Please note that we have added "porn bars" and Body Shop sea urchin and guava face mask to protect the innocent:

Yours for £10m - one unwanted girlfriend

Bootnote

We can't help feeling that the vendor in this case is a prime candidate to receive one of our

Clever Trevor limited edition t-shirts

. Now

there

was a man looking to have his vitals chopped off with a carving knife.

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Dropbox defends fantastically badly timed Condoleezza Rice appointment
'Nothing is going to change with Dr. Rice's appointment,' file sharer promises
Audio fans, prepare yourself for the Second Coming ... of Blu-ray
High Fidelity Pure Audio – is this what your ears have been waiting for?
Did a date calculation bug just cost hard-up Co-op Bank £110m?
And just when Brit banking org needs £400m to stay afloat
Sorry London, Europe's top tech city is Munich
New 'Atlas of ICT Activity' finds innovation isn't happening at Silicon Roundabout
MtGox chief Karpelès refuses to come to US for g-men's grilling
Bitcoin baron says he needs another lawyer for FinCEN chat
Zucker punched: Google gobbles Facebook-wooed Titan Aerospace
Up, up and away in my beautiful balloon flying broadband-bot
Apple DOMINATES the Valley, rakes in more profit than Google, HP, Intel, Cisco COMBINED
Cook & Co. also pay more taxes than those four worthies PLUS eBay and Oracle
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.