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Girls: are you lonely, frustrated, desperate?

Not desperate enough for this eBay geek date offer, trust us

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Any female readers who currently find themselves single, and unable to find the greasy-haired, pizza-encrusted programmer of their dreams, will doubtless be rushing like a Rwandan who's won a trolley dash in a machete warehouse to bid for "a DATE with 4 complete and utter geeks".

Yes, the bidding presently stands at £31 at the eBay auction offering an exotic evening out in Oxford filled with totally fascinating conversation, all about computer programming. Including such riveting topics as "optimal byte code", "reverse polish notation", "Vertex buffer optimisations", and "how it works?... Soap"

Blimey, these games programmers really know how to show a girl a good time. They're even offering to buy our own drinks, and possibly try to sell you some of our games..

Fantastic. Interested young ladies will be pleased to know that they can see up front what they're bidding for since these Linux Lotharios have thoughtfully included a picture of themselves. We are unable to reproduce it here since we believe it may contravene several UK laws and at least one UN resolution. You have been warned. ®

Bootnote

Thanks very much to reader Brian Dickinson for alerting us to this once-in-lifetime opportunity. Brian notes: "You helped the girl get the tit-implant, this is is much more worthy cause."

You're right. Anything which helps a 35-year-old code monkey lose his virginity must surely make the world a more loving, caring place.

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