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Court rejects malicious emailer's Papal bull

Welsh Pope impersonator in a whole heap of trouble

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A man accused of sending malicious emails has landed himself in a whole further heap of trouble by invoking no less than His Holiness the Pope as a character witness, the Telegraph reports.

Julian Evans, 28, of Monmouth, south Wales, found himself hauled before Merthyr Tydfil magistrates on a charge of sending abusive messages to the local T-Mobile call centre after the firm refused him a job. A pretty minor offence, some T-Mobile users might claim, but Evans obviously believed the beak intended to hand down some hard time.

In a desperate bid for leniency, Evans produced the following character reference:

My dear friends in Christ, I regret that we have been unable to protect the Church from this scandal in the case of Julian Evans.

We are obliged to support Julian Evans and we have done throughout these troubled times. Julian has given an immense amount of spiritual, human and social good for the welfare of the Church and humanity.

Yours in Christ, Pope John Paul.


Sadly, this brilliant plan fell apart when the Crown Prosecution Service revealed that Evans had bought the fake commendation on the internet for £50. He now faces sentencing for both sending malicious emails and perverting the course of justice. He will attend court next month to discover his fate. ®



Bootnote

This tremendous tale of electronic abuse and Pope-impersonating Welshman got the old cogs whirring down at Reg merchandising tentacle Cash'n'Carrion. From 1 May, our e-shop will be offering skiving employees a range of plausible written excuses as to why they were unable to attend work at the required hour on a Monday morning. These will include: "Please do not sack Dave for missing three days. I can confirm that he was playing a pivotal role in the Northern Ireland Peace Process. Yours, T. Blair, Prime Minister, Britain", and "Steve will be unable to attend his annual appraisal since we need him to help us out looking for Weapons of Mass Destruction. Thanks, D. Rumsfeld, USA." Prices will start at £30.

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

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