Feeds

Court rejects malicious emailer's Papal bull

Welsh Pope impersonator in a whole heap of trouble

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Seven Steps to Software Security

A man accused of sending malicious emails has landed himself in a whole further heap of trouble by invoking no less than His Holiness the Pope as a character witness, the Telegraph reports.

Julian Evans, 28, of Monmouth, south Wales, found himself hauled before Merthyr Tydfil magistrates on a charge of sending abusive messages to the local T-Mobile call centre after the firm refused him a job. A pretty minor offence, some T-Mobile users might claim, but Evans obviously believed the beak intended to hand down some hard time.

In a desperate bid for leniency, Evans produced the following character reference:

My dear friends in Christ, I regret that we have been unable to protect the Church from this scandal in the case of Julian Evans.

We are obliged to support Julian Evans and we have done throughout these troubled times. Julian has given an immense amount of spiritual, human and social good for the welfare of the Church and humanity.

Yours in Christ, Pope John Paul.


Sadly, this brilliant plan fell apart when the Crown Prosecution Service revealed that Evans had bought the fake commendation on the internet for £50. He now faces sentencing for both sending malicious emails and perverting the course of justice. He will attend court next month to discover his fate. ®



Bootnote

This tremendous tale of electronic abuse and Pope-impersonating Welshman got the old cogs whirring down at Reg merchandising tentacle Cash'n'Carrion. From 1 May, our e-shop will be offering skiving employees a range of plausible written excuses as to why they were unable to attend work at the required hour on a Monday morning. These will include: "Please do not sack Dave for missing three days. I can confirm that he was playing a pivotal role in the Northern Ireland Peace Process. Yours, T. Blair, Prime Minister, Britain", and "Steve will be unable to attend his annual appraisal since we need him to help us out looking for Weapons of Mass Destruction. Thanks, D. Rumsfeld, USA." Prices will start at £30.

Seven Steps to Software Security

More from The Register

next story
Canuck reader threatens suicide over exact dimensions of SPAAAACE!
How many As? Reg hack's writing cops a shoeing
Delaware pair nabbed for getting saucy atop Mexican eatery
Burrito meets soft taco in alleged rooftop romp outrage
Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files
Printable genitalia fall foul of 'obscene material' laws
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Apple: No, China. iPhone is NOT public enemy number 1
Beijing fears it could beam secrets back to America
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Prevent sensitive data leakage over insecure channels or stolen mobile devices.
The Essential Guide to IT Transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIO's automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise.
Mobile application security vulnerability report
The alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, and the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Consolidation: the foundation for IT and business transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.