Feeds

Court rejects malicious emailer's Papal bull

Welsh Pope impersonator in a whole heap of trouble

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

A man accused of sending malicious emails has landed himself in a whole further heap of trouble by invoking no less than His Holiness the Pope as a character witness, the Telegraph reports.

Julian Evans, 28, of Monmouth, south Wales, found himself hauled before Merthyr Tydfil magistrates on a charge of sending abusive messages to the local T-Mobile call centre after the firm refused him a job. A pretty minor offence, some T-Mobile users might claim, but Evans obviously believed the beak intended to hand down some hard time.

In a desperate bid for leniency, Evans produced the following character reference:

My dear friends in Christ, I regret that we have been unable to protect the Church from this scandal in the case of Julian Evans.

We are obliged to support Julian Evans and we have done throughout these troubled times. Julian has given an immense amount of spiritual, human and social good for the welfare of the Church and humanity.

Yours in Christ, Pope John Paul.


Sadly, this brilliant plan fell apart when the Crown Prosecution Service revealed that Evans had bought the fake commendation on the internet for £50. He now faces sentencing for both sending malicious emails and perverting the course of justice. He will attend court next month to discover his fate. ®



Bootnote

This tremendous tale of electronic abuse and Pope-impersonating Welshman got the old cogs whirring down at Reg merchandising tentacle Cash'n'Carrion. From 1 May, our e-shop will be offering skiving employees a range of plausible written excuses as to why they were unable to attend work at the required hour on a Monday morning. These will include: "Please do not sack Dave for missing three days. I can confirm that he was playing a pivotal role in the Northern Ireland Peace Process. Yours, T. Blair, Prime Minister, Britain", and "Steve will be unable to attend his annual appraisal since we need him to help us out looking for Weapons of Mass Destruction. Thanks, D. Rumsfeld, USA." Prices will start at £30.

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing and building an open ITOA architecture
Learn about a new IT data taxonomy defined by the four data sources of IT visibility: wire, machine, agent, and synthetic data sets.
5 critical considerations for enterprise cloud backup
Key considerations when evaluating cloud backup solutions to ensure adequate protection security and availability of enterprise data.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Business security measures using SSL
Examines the major types of threats to information security that businesses face today and the techniques for mitigating those threats.