Feeds

Hoaxster hacker discovers infinite-wealth algorithm

Pennies from Heaven

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

Hacker stunt-double and convicted financial fraudster Kim Schmitz (aka Kimble) is up to his old tricks, this time with a package of techno trickery for making a killing in the stock market. To satisfy the dreams of instant fortune common to those who believe in fairy tales, he's devised an "AI-based decision system" for share trading which scientifically "selects the optimal combination of trading strategies for current market conditions".

It's called Trendax, "the money-making machine," and it "uses a complex combination of sophisticated technical analysis, real-time content analysis of news feeds, multi-dimensional statistical analysis and advanced proprietary mathematical techniques," we're told.

If the technobabble alone isn't enough of a clue, we might recall that only last Summer a Munich court rewarded Schmitz with a twenty-month suspended
sentence for running a stock manipulation scam called Kimvestor expected to net him something in the range of $1.5 million.

Also at around that time, he'd been promoting his name and his scheme with the creation of a 31337 hacker crew called YIHAT (Young Intelligent Hackers Against Terrorism), which claimed to have penetrated Osama bin Laden's bank accounts and to be on the verge of locating him.

Undaunted by his near-jail experience, Schmitz has brought his enviable knowledge of computer science to bear in creating the all-seeing Trendax "AI Brain," a mighty digital oracle which boasts such features as "neural networks for market movements with multi-dimensional analysis of market conditions using proprietary indicators," and "lexical analysis, a natural language processor and machine learning." Even better, it possesses capabilities in "reverse optimization using various mathematical algorithms, fuzzy logic, genetic algorithms [and] evolutionary computing."

Minimum investments of $50,000 in the Trendax fund are now being accepted from those eager to enjoy a once-in-a-lifetime experience. ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Facebook pays INFINITELY MORE UK corp tax than in 2012
Thanks for the £3k, Zuck. Doh! you're IN CREDIT. Guess not
DOUBLE BONK: Testy fanbois catch Apple Pay picking pockets
Users wail as tapcash transactions are duplicated
Happiness economics is bollocks. Oh, UK.gov just adopted it? Er ...
Opportunity doesn't knock; it costs us instead
Google Glassholes are UNDATEABLE – HP exec
You need an emotional connection, says touchy-feely MD... We can do that
YARR! Pirates walk the plank: DMCA magnets sink in Google results
Spaffing copyrighted stuff over the web? No search ranking for you
In the next four weeks, 100 people will decide the future of the web
While America tucks into Thanksgiving turkey, the world will be taking over the net
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.