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Amazon iPaq imbroglio moves Reg reader to song

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Reg reader Paul Smith (no relation) was inspired to verse by last week's Amazon iPaq pricing gaffe.

The online retailer's UK wing inadvertently offered two cut-price HP PDAs for £7.23 and £23.04, respectively, prompting - we dare say - thousands of orders, all of which will go unfulfilled.

Says Paul: "I've been following this story closely, and even ordered myself some. Not getting them, of course, but I thought I'd vent my spleen in the best way I knew how. The old 'write a silly song about it' ploy."

And here, in all its gory (given the tune) glory, it is.

GIT CHORE IPAQs, THEY'RE LUVERLY
(sung to the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic)

TTTO BHotR (oh, come on)...

Mine eyes have seen the cock-ups on the automated site,
With a look of stunned amazement - was the price of that thing right?
And I ordered several vanfulls while Jeff Bezos' face turned white,
From that crazy Amazon!

Chorus: (if you really want to)
Get your iPaqs now, they're lovely,
Get your iPaqs now, they're lovely,
Get your iPaqs now, they're lovely,
Super cheap at Amazon.

Yes, that really was an iPaq for just £7.32,
And they even sold a bigger one for silly money too,
Would you look at all the features - all that Bluetooth just for you -
In the sale at Amazon...

A chatroom told me this was true - I quickly went and looked,
Then I clicked the confirmation and I saw my order booked,
And I emailed all my colleagues - soon the office staff were hooked,
By that crazy Amazon!

Then straight away the Register, and then the BBC,
And Silicon, and Slashdot, and the main sites for IT,
Began to spread the news about this tiny little fee
For iPaqs at Amazon.

But two or three hours later - yes, there had to be a catch -
We saw the company spokesmen try to crawl out of it (natch)
"The contract isn't binding yet - it has to reach dispatch",
Said the drones from Amazon.

OK, upon reflection, time is all that we have lost,
But lawyers, please locate the bin in which our rights were tossed;
'Cos when you advertise a price, you'll have to count the cost;
Sort your lives out, Amazon.
®

Related Stories

No legal recourse for buyers as Amazon rejects £7 iPaq pricing
Amazon offers sub-£10 iPaq

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