Feeds

Stressmarks already as the Web goes to war

A Register special report

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

High performance access to file storage

War and worries about terrorist attacks has put severe stress on government Web sites in the US and UK, reports Reuters. The US Army home page and the US Marines are said to be having trouble, while over on this side of the pond dubious advice about terrorism is sometimes unobtainable.

This is of course to be expected - war boosts web traffic immensely, usually more than compensating for any readership that is unfortunately removed owing to one of war's other well-known effects. our good friends over at CNET have with commendable despatch rounded up a posse of wire service war items and set up a please stress my site landing page, presumably aimed at those too busy reading about tech news to read up on the war in more probable venues.

We at The Register propose to go one, or even two, better. First, let's spread the stress around about US.gov a tad - it's only fair. Over at the Department of Defense we have two new GWOT medals (Global War on Terrorism, of course) aimed at veterans of Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Noble Eagle. Enduring Freedom, in case you need reminding, is the war on terrorism. Or Al Qaeda, outside the US, while Noble Eagle is the one inside. The US Coastguards are among those eligible for the Noble Eagle gong, and authorised the construction of a web site to "preserve vital historical data that documents Coast Guard operations since 11SEP01." Sadly, it remains under construction, and we are denied knowledge of the Coast Guards' noble deeds in the war. We trust this will not impede medal distribution - wear your GWOT Gong with pride while you watch for Iraqi submarines.

US.gov also has a shiny new web site to advise on terror readiness, ready.gov. Of itself it's really quite dull, merely advising on things like stocking up on food and water for three days. It would, we feel, get a lot more stressed if it went a little beyond this in order to cover contingencies such as the arrival of The Beast, the Battle of Armageddon, the Second Coming and the subsequent entry of the Chosen Few to Paradise. Just a traffic-building suggestion from the pros, people, but note that a serious rush on canned food and heavy weaponry would maybe help the economy. But ready.gov does have many intriguing little pictures to illustrate the various terrors covered; these you will find alternatively explained here. We particularly liked "Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the fuck away" and "After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head", but it's all good stuff.

OK, that's enough site stressing for now. How would you like a glimpse of next week's news? First, you should be aware that quite a lot of the stuff you read about major issues is sourced from wire services, and in addition to providing hard and immediate news (no, they really do sometimes) these services provide a whole lot of supporting stuff, background, human interest, quick items ready to roll when various milestones are reached. We're not picking on Scripps Howard News Service for any particular reason, other than the outfit very decently lets you read explanations of the stories it has in store, before demanding your customer log-in.

Today, you will note that Bush has told us the war has begun, but that the item about the "volcanic American and allied assault on Iraq" may have to wait a couple of days yet. And there's the Baghdad street map - never know when you're going to need one of these. Further down we have the opname, Operation Iraqi Freedom, can't launch an op without an opname, and then "IRAQ-FINDSADDAM." This is a very handy one indeed, presuming that a swift collapse could well result in a frenetic hunt for Saddam. Yesterday Scripp Howard was recommending it as a likely item for this weekend, but it now seems a little more cautious. Whatever, bookmark this one and you can amaze your friends by commenting on the news before it has entirely happened. Recommended. ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Mainstay ROI - Does application security pay?
In this whitepaper learn how you and your enterprise might benefit from better software security.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.