Don't photocopy your bum this Xmas

Use a camera phone instead

Office party revellers should not photocopy their buttocks this Christmas - not unless they want some nurse to pick out shards of glass from their backside.

That's the helpful advice currently being dished out on the TUC's (Trades Union Congress) Worksmart Web site with an online guide to surviving the festive season at work.

A helpful FAQ asks: "Our office parties can get a bit out of hand when people start playing pranks. Will our photocopier support anyone's weight?"

The reply has some good news - and a warning about this kind of activity.

"If the office Christmas Party goes really traditional and you end up making 'cheeky' photocopies, you won't be exposed to toner or harmful light for long enough to hurt you [that's a relief, ed], but you may well find yourself spending the rest of the evening face down in casualty, having shards of glass removed from your bottom.

"This is a surprisingly common occurrence, as photocopiers simply aren't designed to be robust enough to take any kind of weight, even if yours has managed to withstand a lot of rough treatment and kicks all year," it said.

If this advice will dampen your office party bash, then El Reg's suggestion is to use one of those picture phones to take a cheeky bot-shot.

Obviously do not sit on the phone or there could be other health and safety concerns.

And there's more helpful guidance on prankish japes with office equipment.

It continues: "The same goes with most other office or workplace equipment from staple gun shoot outs, paper-opener sword fights to re-enacting the French Revolution with the office guillotine. It goes without saying that items of work equipment are not toys, but in drunken hands, even fairly innocuous devices can turn seriously dangerous."

Cripes.

There's also advice about having a Christmas drink at work: "Employers are responsible if anything goes wrong at a work function, so they shouldn't encourage their staff to drink unless they have contingency plans in place (like making sure everyone has a lift home or designated driver, or there are taxis available)."

Oh and there's also hints about the effects of too much mistletoe and loud music - Bah! Humbug! ®

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