In a story created, but rejected by our automatic news generator (http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/4/28019.html) for being too absurd, Mike 'Don' Capellas is to leave Hewlett Packard and join WorldCom, the Wall Street Journal reports. HP today confirmed (http://www.hp.com/hpinfo/newsroom/press/2002/021111b.html) the Don's departure, although the President can still be see in a spooky lit-from-below horror snap here (http://www.hp.com/hpinfo/execteam/bios/capellas.html).

The outgoing CEO of the disgraced random-billing specialist, which misstated earnings by $9 billion, has tipped Capellas as his successor, and WSJ sources say the Don's name is already felt-tipped on the Chief Executive's door (economy measures, you see).

At Compaq, the Don paved the way for the merger with Hewlett Packard by sending the world's fastest microprocessor to a watery grave (http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/7/19951.html).

"We can't make a better microprocessor than Intel," Capellas told financial analysts in a vision statement (http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/7/25142.html) earlier this year, forgetting that he already had.

With WorldCom's business ebbing away, and the company staffed only by desperately anxious people, fearful for their jobs, and with a rats' nest of incompatible computer systems, Capellas should feel right at home. We recommend he read 'You have no idea the evil we do' - MCI insiders break their silence (http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/35/25904.html) to get up to speed.

The Don's departure leaves our favorite HP executive, the magnificent Shane Robison (http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/archive/25192.html) within a cutlass' swing of Carly's nape. Behind you, Carly. ®

Related Stories

Don Capellas articulates HPaq's vision thing (http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/7/25142.html)
HP makes Don Capellas an offer he can't refuse (http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/7/21444.html)
Don Capellas justifies Compaq Alphacide (http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/2/19959.html)
Farewell then, Alpha - Hello, Compaq the box shifter (http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/7/19951.html)