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Nigerian 419: White farmers up the ante

Desperate Zimbabwean seeks honest partner for transfer of funds etc. etc.

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It's all go on the 419 fraud front this week as the latest email circular breaks all previous records of riches beyond the wildest dreams of avarice. Not to outdone by the Nigerians, the white Zimbabwean farmers have rustled up an impressive $46 million dollars for immediate transfer to an honest and trustworthy partner abroad.

Their contact man is Max Crawford - a good, solid Anglo name to be sure - although Max seems to have learnt his English in downtown Lagos. Still, let's give him the benefit of the doubt. It can't be easy spamming half of the western world while enraged war veterans are firing AK47s through your office window. Yup, this one looks legit alright:

Dear Sir,

I am Max Crawford, the secretary of Commercial farmers Union (CFU) OF Zimbabwe. After the last general elections in my country where the incumbent president Mr. Robert Mugabe won the presidential election, the government has adopted a very aggressive land reforms programme. This programme is solely aimed at taking the land owned by white African farmers for redistribution to black Africans. This programme has attracted worldwide condemnation from world leaders including British Prime Minister, Mr.Tony Blair and also forced several white farmers to flee the country for fear of victimization and physical abuse.

A Few weeks ago, our headquarters in Harare was attacked and looted by black protesters and in the process burnt down the whole building. Fortunately, they did not get access to the huge funds kept in the strong room which belong to the co-operation. This cash was kept at the secretariat rather than in the bank for fear of seizure by the government.

Now I have the funds in my possession and would need to get it Invested in a viable business venture in Europe. The cash in question is US$46Million dollars.

Once I can get your commitment and sincerity of investing this fund on our behalf then I would proceed to get the funds freighted to Europe, where you would be required to pick it up for investment for us.

You do not have anything to worry about as I would undertake all Charges involved in freighting the funds to Europe, and the business proposal is 100% legal and risk free.

You would be adequately compensated for all your effort once we Have gotten the funds to Europe. Please get back to me if you can be of assistance and I would want our correspondence to be via email as most phone lines of white farmers are bugged by the government. Please reply to the following email addresses. William Hamilton ESQ (PRESIDENT CFU ZIMBABWE)

williamhamilton@eircom.net
williamhamilton_2@lycos.com

I expect 100% confidentiality and your prompt response to this mail so as to proceed.

Kind regards,

Max Crawford.

So, there you go - a swift few million bucks just for helping a few beleaguered cattle-ranchers get their rightful wedge out of Zimbabwe. Can't be bad. Alternatively, for a entirely risk-free £14, you could kit yourself out in one of the few remaining Reg Nigerian 419 t-shirts. We can't promise you'll get rich quick, but your cup of admiring glances will certainly runneth over.®

Bootnote

Thanks to spamee Dean Varney for alerting us as to this quality business opportunity.

The smart choice: opportunity from uncertainty

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