Feeds

NASA to fight terror with mental telepathy

More Dept. of Precrime gimmicks

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

No, we're not making this up; we can only hope that Moonie sheet the Washington Times is. But according to this WT story, NASA is attempting to develop some manner of remote stress detector along the lines of a polygraph machine which will monitor the brainwaves and heart rates of airline passengers as they pass blissfully through the gate to their waiting aeroplane.

"Computers would apply statistical algorithms to correlate physiologic patterns with computerized data on travel routines, criminal background and credit information from 'hundreds to thousands of data sources,'" the WT quotes from a NASA document.

Well, these folks put men on the Moon, so I reckon they'll be able to crack an important prerequisite: that is, to alter the very nature of air travel, miraculously making it bearable to normal human beings so the Osama alarms won't be ringing every ten seconds. Otherwise, everyone with a spotty credit history and a healthy tendency to go ballistic after hours of ineptitude and patronizing contempt from the airline industry is going to be flagged as a terrorist, and air traffic will cease.

Well, except for direct flights to Guantanamo Bay, on which we expect extremely heavy bookings if this preposterous scheme ever gets off the drawing board. ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Webcam hacker pervs in MASS HOME INVASION
You thought you were all alone? Nope – change your password, says ICO
You really need to do some tech support for Aunty Agnes
Free anti-virus software, expires, stops updating and p0wns the world
Meet OneRNG: a fully-open entropy generator for a paranoid age
Kiwis to seek random investors for crowd-funded randomiser
USB coding anarchy: Consider all sticks licked
Thumb drive design ruled by almighty buck
Attack reveals 81 percent of Tor users but admins call for calm
Cisco Netflow a handy tool for cheapskate attackers
Privacy bods offer GOV SPY VICTIMS a FREE SPYWARE SNIFFER
Looks for gov malware that evades most antivirus
Patch NOW! Microsoft slings emergency bug fix at Windows admins
Vulnerability promotes lusers to domain overlords ... oops
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
The hidden costs of self-signed SSL certificates
Exploring the true TCO for self-signed SSL certificates, including a side-by-side comparison of a self-signed architecture versus working with a third-party SSL vendor.
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.