Feeds

Man auctions advertising space on penis

Brand extension = hard sell

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Build a business case: developing custom apps

Any company with a bit of spare cash and looking to raise its corporate profile with a bit of thrusting and explosive marketing may care to check out this advertising opportunity on eBay.

For a modest sum, you can have your logo tattooed onto a man's penis, or his buttock, or indeed both buttocks. We can only assume that this particular eBay seller is currently a bit hard-up, as it were. Having said that, the idea is not without artistic merit - hard-drinking thespo Oliver Reed sported a fetching eagle's talon on his own virile member and he was quite a hit with the ladies.

Interestingly, the eBay entry is written by the man's wife, who seems to be handling this particular penis:

OK, this auction is on behalf of my husband who is auctioning tattoo space on his penis, the winning bidder gets their design / message / logo tattooed on his penis, with the following provisos.
  1. If it is a copyright or trademark the winning bidder must be the undisputed registered copyright / trademark holder.
  2. The winning bidder does not have any automatic right to photograph the finished article or use said photograph, and any such promotional usage to be negotiated by separate agreement. Failing mutual agreement no photographs shall be taken.

  3. He reserves the right to choose the tattooist (for reasons of health / safety) and the right to refuse certain inks / colours on the grounds of health / safety

  4. He reserves the right to refuse designs that he considers offensive, immoral, or objectionable.

  5. In addition to the bid fee, the auction winner pays all his expenses including any incurred by any of the above clauses.

  6. No tattooing will commence until he has been paid in full and monies are cleared in his bank.

  7. No refunds will be given under any circumstances with the sole exception of his refusing to have the tattoo applied.

  8. He reserves the right to have the tattoo removed at his own expense, if he so chooses, after a period of not less than 24 months, medical reasons notwithstanding.

  9. The tattoo will be confined to the exterior skin only, not the glans.

  10. The auction winner may at their option use one buttock instead of his penis, both buttocks = 50% surcharge.

  11. make him a REALLY good offer, and if he likes the product / design, you can use his entire body except hands / feet / face.

  12. buyer pays all ebay fees and commissions.

This isn't a wind up. If you have any questions please ask, all questions will be answered by my husband and not me 'cos it is his penis after all :-)

Sadly, it doesn't state the maximum print size available on the penis. Here's hoping he doesn't lose potential bidders if he fails to measure up to corporate expectations. ®

Cock and Bull stories

PenisResource.com
Penis humor archives

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay
Stump up via tat bazaar, do a good thing for ill kids
Check your Clungene, Irish women warned
Have a quick shufti, you may not be pregnant after all
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Solving today's distributed Big Data backup challenges
Enable IT efficiency and allow a firm to access and reuse corporate information for competitive advantage, ultimately changing business outcomes.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.