Man auctions advertising space on penis

Brand extension = hard sell

Any company with a bit of spare cash and looking to raise its corporate profile with a bit of thrusting and explosive marketing may care to check out this advertising opportunity on eBay.

For a modest sum, you can have your logo tattooed onto a man's penis, or his buttock, or indeed both buttocks. We can only assume that this particular eBay seller is currently a bit hard-up, as it were. Having said that, the idea is not without artistic merit - hard-drinking thespo Oliver Reed sported a fetching eagle's talon on his own virile member and he was quite a hit with the ladies.

Interestingly, the eBay entry is written by the man's wife, who seems to be handling this particular penis:

OK, this auction is on behalf of my husband who is auctioning tattoo space on his penis, the winning bidder gets their design / message / logo tattooed on his penis, with the following provisos.
  1. If it is a copyright or trademark the winning bidder must be the undisputed registered copyright / trademark holder.
  2. The winning bidder does not have any automatic right to photograph the finished article or use said photograph, and any such promotional usage to be negotiated by separate agreement. Failing mutual agreement no photographs shall be taken.

  3. He reserves the right to choose the tattooist (for reasons of health / safety) and the right to refuse certain inks / colours on the grounds of health / safety

  4. He reserves the right to refuse designs that he considers offensive, immoral, or objectionable.

  5. In addition to the bid fee, the auction winner pays all his expenses including any incurred by any of the above clauses.

  6. No tattooing will commence until he has been paid in full and monies are cleared in his bank.

  7. No refunds will be given under any circumstances with the sole exception of his refusing to have the tattoo applied.

  8. He reserves the right to have the tattoo removed at his own expense, if he so chooses, after a period of not less than 24 months, medical reasons notwithstanding.

  9. The tattoo will be confined to the exterior skin only, not the glans.

  10. The auction winner may at their option use one buttock instead of his penis, both buttocks = 50% surcharge.

  11. make him a REALLY good offer, and if he likes the product / design, you can use his entire body except hands / feet / face.

  12. buyer pays all ebay fees and commissions.

This isn't a wind up. If you have any questions please ask, all questions will be answered by my husband and not me 'cos it is his penis after all :-)

Sadly, it doesn't state the maximum print size available on the penis. Here's hoping he doesn't lose potential bidders if he fails to measure up to corporate expectations. ®

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