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Riversoft unleashes mother of all disclaimers

Warning: Reading this headline may damage your liberty

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We know how much Reg readers enjoy a good disclaimer, so it is with great pleasure that we bring you this classic pertaining to Micromuse's buyout of Riversoft, announced today. It's a blockbuster of turgid legalese, to be sure, although inexplicably pleasing in its madness.

We should, however, warn readers in Australia, Canada and Japan that they may have already broken several legal statutes simply by reading this far. Indeed, anyone from those countries is advised to immediately shut down their computer, lock themselves in the toilet and await the arrival of the relevant authorities. Here's why:

Unless otherwise determined by Micromuse and permitted by applicable law and regulation, the offer for RiverSoft will not be made, directly or indirectly, in or into, or by use of the mails of, or by any other means or instrumentality (including, without limitation, telephonically or electronically) of interstate or foreign commerce of, or of any facility of a national securities exchange of Canada, nor will it be made in or into Australia or Japan and the offer will not be capable of acceptance by any such use, means, instrumentality or facilities or from within Australia, Canada or Japan. Accordingly, unless otherwise determined by Micromuse and permitted by applicable law and regulation, neither copies of this announcement nor any other documents relating to the offer are being, or may be, mailed or otherwise forwarded, distributed or sent in or into Australia, Canada or Japan and persons receiving such documents (including custodians, nominees and trustees) must not distribute or send them in, into or from such jurisdictions. If you are an Australian, Japanese or Canadian person or are viewing this page from Australia, Canada or Japan you must exit the site by clicking on the "I disagree" button below.

Anyone from Sydney, Tokyo or Montreal still here? Consider yourselves busted. The summons is in the post. ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

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