Feeds

Sons of Ulster join e-commerce revolution

The future's bright, the future's orange

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

If, as a true Son of Ulster, you've ever spent fruitless days wandering around the province's shops trying to source Protestant holy water, Drumcree games for your Xbox or an oversized goat skin for that lambeg drum, there's some good news today in the shape of www.prodshopping.com.

This one-stop orange shop offers the discerning patriot a comprehensive range of products for the forthcoming marching season, including several must-have Drumcree accessories: T54 tank, B52 bomber and mediaeval trebuchet catapult.

If you can't be there in person, plug in your Xbox and pick your spot on the hill, negotiate your way from Protestant West Belfast to Drumcree without getting stopped by the police or trapped by a Loyalist barricade and then, once you arrive, try and pick your way down the Garvaghy Road....

However, it would be unfair to suggest that prodshopping.com is concerned only with the products of confrontation. On the contrary, its Protestant holy water, collected from the Boyne and blessed by no less than the Protestant Pope Rev. Ian Paisley, is claimed to have amazing healing powers. Indeed, if you have been out all night throwing bricks at the Fenians, and the PSNI, over the peace line in North Belfast this Holy Water is ideal to help heal those cuts and bruises.

And, as a final mark of the site's commitment to religious harmony, it offers a useful link to www.catholicshopper.com where those with alternative convictions can choose from an enormous range of quality merchandise from the House of the Church of Rome. ®

Bootnote

A lambeg drum is an enormous instrument beaten with great enthusiasm by orange marching bands.

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.