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H****tt P*****d banished to swear box

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Hewlett Packard is no more, a spokesperson told us today. The company will now be known as "HP", confirming a report in the San Jose Mercury this morning.

The families of the founders, Hewlett and Packard [who? It's working already - ed.] led the opposition to the merger with Compaq.

Reports that a swearbox is in operation for staff who insist on using the proscribed words "H****tt" and "P*****d" couldn't be confirmed. ®

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