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Crypto porno movie goes up for auction

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

The rights to one of the most interesting cultural artifacts of our time are up for auction.

You can bid to own the rights to Cryptic Seduction a crypto-themed porn movie written and produced by one "Randy French" (he asked us not to reveal his real name), an Oakland-based cypherpunk.

Although starring professional adult industry actors, it's full of in-jokes and references to "Darn Good Privacy", and "back doors..." Phnarr. Cryptographer Eric Hughes makes two non-performing cameo appearances. Oh and the lead character is called Bill Dylan, which you can work out for yourselves.

Several fictional characters are based on renowned cryptographers including Ian Goldberg.

And Declan McCullagh?

"He wishes!", says Randy.

"I wrote clever dialog, but it most of it went out of the window under the pressures of the production schedules," French told us.

"At one point the assembled Cypherpunks are asked if anyone knows anything about guns. They all pipe up with affirmative responses," says French.

At law school, the producer used the name Norman French, "because that's what lawyers speak in," he told us. "But I wanted Norman to have a dark brother."

The auction closes noon Wednesday., and there's no reserve price. Although Cryptic Seduction cost $30,000 to produce, "It's yours if you bid $2.75, and that's the highest bid," French says. "And I hope the winning bid goes on to make a million."

You can see the potential here, particularly for innuendo-hungry Brits raised on Carry On movies. It could become a world-wide cult, without the turkey giblets, we mused.

"There's a softcore version available too. You can have both," says French. You can bid by emailing randy.french@iname.com. ®

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