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Captain Cyborg crops up in Focus magazine

How'd he get past the dogs?

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Captain Cyborg aka Kevin "Wally" Warwick has managed to sneak back into the country and continue his self-publicising tour of gibberish masquerading as science.

But worse than that, he's managed to get into Focus magazine. How does he do it? We were sure everyone had been alerted to the professor of cybernetics and his experiments.

Seeing as Focus is a science-based magazine, Kev was less bonkers than usual (or maybe it was just clever editing). Of course he started off by talking about the reed switch put under his skin for a week and how this meant he had become a cyborg. He then leaps straight into his new chip - ah! the new chip - which as we all know by now will somehow enable him to record electrical impulses, and play them back.

"Many people know the effects that chemicals, such as alcohol or nicotine, have on the brain, but what happens when we stimulate those parts of the brain with electronics instead? The brain is electrochemical, not just chemical."

It all sounds so plausible doesn't it?

He does of course extend this experiment - the one that still hasn't happened despite his talking about it for nearly two years now. Rather than saying this will enable him to create telepathy and remote orgasms with his wife, he merely alludes to it. Which is a nice change.

But would you believe it? He doesn't give a date for when this magical experiment is going to take place. Tch, foiled again.

So what new madness did he come up with? Well, he spoke about being there when his Dad died. It was in response to a question about brain activity after death, and while the death of a loved one is never a joking matter, we fear greatly that this innocent question may spark off Kev's next area of specialism. Just wait and see.

He also comes up with a great quote: "The genetic genome project has nothing on what we're looking it - it's just twidling at the edges of humanity, not changing it." It someone could prove categorically that Kev honestly believes this statement then he is quite clearly sectionable.

As for the biggest extension of truth: asked if his research was motivated by money, Kev said "for me, money is not a driving force. As long as we've got enough to get by and to continue the research, that's enough. I think that technically the patents are owned by the university and the implant work is mostly fuelled by industry."

And as if to prove his point, five signed copies of his latest book, retailing at £9.99, (which, coincidentally, twine very neatly with his "research") are offered as prizes to Focus readers. ®

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

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