Feeds

Readers' Letters ‘Antrocentric’ Haines gets dolphin death threat

'Chicken of the Sea' not happy

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Security for virtualized datacentres

LogoWatch MySQL swims with the dolphins

It seems that Lester Haines has offended some of the more marine-sensitive members of the Register readership with his comments on the shortcomings of dolphins. One reader, who asked to be identified only as "Chicken of the Sea", took it upon himself to gently point this out:

You IDIOT!

You wrote:

"What dolphins know about the Internet can be written on the back of a very small piece of kelp".

What kind of antrocentric comment is that! If a dolphin was reading this (and I assure you that they can read if they have to) they would be writing this message instead of me and they would be outraged about this slam against their intellectual abilities.

Just because dolphins have not developed a written language (due to the physical configuration of their fins) doesn't mean they don't know anything. Their oral history is filled with historical events stretching past our human history and including events where the historical record has been lost such as the disappearance of Atlantis and several of the stories of Titanic victims which were recounted to dolphins on the way down.

I suggest you retract this statement before you hit the beach next time. This is not a threat, but some dolphins are not the cuddly creatures that one might imagine.

Indeed. And, although Mr Haines has not retracted the statement, it has been whispered to the Letters Desk that he will be staying away from salt water expanses for the foreseeable future.

More dolphin-friendly reader comments can be found here.

Best of the Rest

FOTW
"The design sucks, you suck, the whole frikin' site sucks"

Reg reader quits in quest for journalistic truth
Enough is enough when it comes to Thomas C Greene

Sensitive dotcommers get more birds!
Reg reader dishes out priceless pulling tips

"I say fry him!
Tough sentence for screensaver downloader

Stripper story leaves techies confused
It's all too much for some people

And that concludes this week's madness. ®

Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management

More from The Register

next story
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.