Feeds

Readers' Letters ‘Antrocentric’ Haines gets dolphin death threat

'Chicken of the Sea' not happy

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

The essential guide to IT transformation

LogoWatch MySQL swims with the dolphins

It seems that Lester Haines has offended some of the more marine-sensitive members of the Register readership with his comments on the shortcomings of dolphins. One reader, who asked to be identified only as "Chicken of the Sea", took it upon himself to gently point this out:

You IDIOT!

You wrote:

"What dolphins know about the Internet can be written on the back of a very small piece of kelp".

What kind of antrocentric comment is that! If a dolphin was reading this (and I assure you that they can read if they have to) they would be writing this message instead of me and they would be outraged about this slam against their intellectual abilities.

Just because dolphins have not developed a written language (due to the physical configuration of their fins) doesn't mean they don't know anything. Their oral history is filled with historical events stretching past our human history and including events where the historical record has been lost such as the disappearance of Atlantis and several of the stories of Titanic victims which were recounted to dolphins on the way down.

I suggest you retract this statement before you hit the beach next time. This is not a threat, but some dolphins are not the cuddly creatures that one might imagine.

Indeed. And, although Mr Haines has not retracted the statement, it has been whispered to the Letters Desk that he will be staying away from salt water expanses for the foreseeable future.

More dolphin-friendly reader comments can be found here.

Best of the Rest

FOTW
"The design sucks, you suck, the whole frikin' site sucks"

Reg reader quits in quest for journalistic truth
Enough is enough when it comes to Thomas C Greene

Sensitive dotcommers get more birds!
Reg reader dishes out priceless pulling tips

"I say fry him!
Tough sentence for screensaver downloader

Stripper story leaves techies confused
It's all too much for some people

And that concludes this week's madness. ®

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 10 endpoint backup mistakes
Avoid the ten endpoint backup mistakes to ensure that your critical corporate data is protected and end user productivity is improved.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Rethinking backup and recovery in the modern data center
Combining intelligence, operational analytics, and automation to enable efficient, data-driven IT organizations using the HP ABR approach.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.