Feeds

Readers' Letters ‘Antrocentric’ Haines gets dolphin death threat

'Chicken of the Sea' not happy

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

LogoWatch MySQL swims with the dolphins

It seems that Lester Haines has offended some of the more marine-sensitive members of the Register readership with his comments on the shortcomings of dolphins. One reader, who asked to be identified only as "Chicken of the Sea", took it upon himself to gently point this out:

You IDIOT!

You wrote:

"What dolphins know about the Internet can be written on the back of a very small piece of kelp".

What kind of antrocentric comment is that! If a dolphin was reading this (and I assure you that they can read if they have to) they would be writing this message instead of me and they would be outraged about this slam against their intellectual abilities.

Just because dolphins have not developed a written language (due to the physical configuration of their fins) doesn't mean they don't know anything. Their oral history is filled with historical events stretching past our human history and including events where the historical record has been lost such as the disappearance of Atlantis and several of the stories of Titanic victims which were recounted to dolphins on the way down.

I suggest you retract this statement before you hit the beach next time. This is not a threat, but some dolphins are not the cuddly creatures that one might imagine.

Indeed. And, although Mr Haines has not retracted the statement, it has been whispered to the Letters Desk that he will be staying away from salt water expanses for the foreseeable future.

More dolphin-friendly reader comments can be found here.

Best of the Rest

FOTW
"The design sucks, you suck, the whole frikin' site sucks"

Reg reader quits in quest for journalistic truth
Enough is enough when it comes to Thomas C Greene

Sensitive dotcommers get more birds!
Reg reader dishes out priceless pulling tips

"I say fry him!
Tough sentence for screensaver downloader

Stripper story leaves techies confused
It's all too much for some people

And that concludes this week's madness. ®

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
The Heartbleed Bug: how to protect your business with Symantec
What happens when the next Heartbleed (or worse) comes along, and what can you do to weather another chapter in an all-too-familiar string of debilitating attacks?
New hybrid storage solutions
Tackling data challenges through emerging hybrid storage solutions that enable optimum database performance whilst managing costs and increasingly large data stores.