Feeds

Elizabeth the Queen Mother is dead

A nation mourns

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

Updated

Gawd bless yer, ma'am

The nation was today in mourning after the Yorkshire Evening Post announced the untimely demise of Elizabeth the Queen Mother.

This has no doubt come as quite a shock to the Royal Family, not to mention doctors who have been treating the old dear for anaemia in the apparently mistaken assumption that she was still alive.

Still, they can take solace in the glowing obituary which compliments the announcement. According to the fawning blurb She was the widow of a king, the mother of a queen and the last Empress of India. Yet, despite the regal and imperial titles, Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother fashioned the modern image of the "democratic" monarchy and took the Crown closer to the people than ever before.

The Post further notes that this girl with dark-lashed eyes of china blue who became Queen almost by accident, had Royal blood in her veins and was a woman who knew the meaning of duty and sacrifice and was in close touch with people from backgrounds very different from her own.

Indeed. How will we ever manage without her?

Update

The Post has sadly pulled the offending pages. The editor had better not hold his breath for that knighthood, though.

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.