Logitech mouse is female – official

It never had balls in the first place

Logitech flogs 500,000 emasculated mice

Logitech's ball-less cordless MouseMan Optical has proved a hit with punters - the company has sold more than 500,000 of them.

Eleanor Durrant would, however, like to set the record straight on the gender of this technological wonder:

I'd like to tell your editor it's not an 'emasculated' mouse! It's a *female* mouse! It still does everything a male mouse can do, after all - it just uses a little red light instead. ;o)

Gene Mosher concurs, and is prepared to support the case with some gynaecological detail:

Robert, it is not really the case that all those mice have lost their balls. Logitech simply stopped shipping male mice and started shipping female mice. Now, we don't go around telling women that they are emasculated, do we? No, we don't.

I even have one of these new female mice. I can tell because it has concave indentations where the the older male mice had bulges, and when you turn it over it has this tiny very bright, little red thingee, just about the size of, oh, a clitoris, I guess, which is constantly pulsating. Plus, it comes in a color that I can only describe as teaser blue, so fur shur, it's a female mouse thru and thru, and is certainly not a male mouse which has been emasculated.

So, it's official. Does this now mean dinner, a taxi home and 40 minutes of foreplay just to open a Word document?

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