Feeds

Logitech mouse is female – official

It never had balls in the first place

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Security for virtualized datacentres

Logitech flogs 500,000 emasculated mice

Logitech's ball-less cordless MouseMan Optical has proved a hit with punters - the company has sold more than 500,000 of them.

Eleanor Durrant would, however, like to set the record straight on the gender of this technological wonder:

I'd like to tell your editor it's not an 'emasculated' mouse! It's a *female* mouse! It still does everything a male mouse can do, after all - it just uses a little red light instead. ;o)

Gene Mosher concurs, and is prepared to support the case with some gynaecological detail:

Robert, it is not really the case that all those mice have lost their balls. Logitech simply stopped shipping male mice and started shipping female mice. Now, we don't go around telling women that they are emasculated, do we? No, we don't.

I even have one of these new female mice. I can tell because it has concave indentations where the the older male mice had bulges, and when you turn it over it has this tiny very bright, little red thingee, just about the size of, oh, a clitoris, I guess, which is constantly pulsating. Plus, it comes in a color that I can only describe as teaser blue, so fur shur, it's a female mouse thru and thru, and is certainly not a male mouse which has been emasculated.

So, it's official. Does this now mean dinner, a taxi home and 40 minutes of foreplay just to open a Word document?

Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management

More from The Register

next story
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.